Title: Home
Author: Xander
Email: keyofc@shaw.ca
Rating: NC17
Pairing: Sam and Janet
Category: Romance, Action, Drama, Angst
Warnings: Sexual situations, language, violence
Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be
Spoilers: very mild for In The Line Of Duty
Archive: Yes, you only have to ask

Dedication: Thanks to Harriet for the advice and encouragement. To Rachel and Ana for the medical instruction, any mistakes herein are due to artistic license and my ignorance, not your skills. This story is for Warped Scientist, who bugged me about it.

Notes: I started watching Star Gate SG-1 approximately five months ago and this is my first attempt at S/J fanfic. Any errors of character or plot detail in regard to canon are my fault.

Summary: Sam and Janet's friendship takes a romantic turn and an explosion rocks the SGC

 

HOME

Holidays were the worst.  Endless days of supposed relaxation were really the opposite, the hours rolling relentlessly forward.  A brave new world would open at their feet, deemed reasonably safe by the MALP; a team would head through, more than likely SG-1.  Only then would time contravene the laws of nature and come to a grinding halt. 

Until Sam stepped back into the known world time was meaningless. 

She was brilliant, of course, wouldn't be here if she wasn't. In the lab hunched over a computer or microscope she was all brain cells and lightening fast equations.  Janet thought she knew what awe was: staring at the sunrise over the Pacific; stepping through the Stargate for the first time, second time, every time; a pained and frightened face turning to her with hope and trust.  They paled in comparison to watching an idea form behind the light in those blue eyes. 

But through the portal Sam was a soldier and all bets were off.  There was no telling what condition she might be in when the remote signal sounded.  Relief…sweet soul-deep relief was that beautiful smile grinning up at her as she watched from the control room.   

Before she'd ever met her, Janet had imagined this feeling.  The first time she'd looked into tidal blue she'd felt a jolt of recognition.  Sam had brought her Cassandra and unknowingly completed their family circle.  When Jolinar died, for one terrifying eternity Janet witnessed a future without Sam, and died too.   

It was six weeks later and Janet was only beginning to accept how deeply her existence was interwoven with this woman and that realization was reshaping her very foundations.  

Janet shook herself from her reverie and watched Sam carefully pick through the table of sale items, checking each organizer for its various features.  Dissatisfied, she turned to the regular rack and let her hand drift across a leather briefcase.   

Janet shook her head in amusement.  "It costs too much and it's impractical." 

Sam arched an eyebrow and an impish grin spread across her face. 

"Usually, those are the only things worth having." 

Sam reluctantly pulled her questing fingers from the item in question and headed further up the aisle, towing the shopping cart behind her.  It took her a minute to realize that Janet was not keeping up.  She turned and stared quizzically at the doctor. 

Who looked as if she'd been thumped across the head with a two by four. 

"Janet?" 

There was a lengthy pause while Janet canted her head to one side, observing Sam like she'd never seen her before, cataloguing and quantifying. 

"What?  Did you see something you like?" 

The question freed Fraiser from her momentary stupor and she spoke slowly, a note of amazement in her tone. 

"Yes…but I'll have to think about it." 

Sam shook her head, clearly not following. 

"You don't have to decide right this second, you know.  We can always come back," she added helpfully. 

Janet contemplated the idea and seemed to find it reassuring somehow, smiling gently and walking toward Sam. 

"Time…'something less to wish more of'…I don't think this can wait anymore, Sam." 

She stepped around the cart and stood in front of Sam, reaching out and resting her hand on the captain's arm.  A steadying breath and the words tumbled out. 

"I love you." 

Sam smiled and nodded, "I love you, too, Janet.  You're my best--" 

"Sam…shhhh.  I'm in love with you.  I, uh…have been…I think…for some time now." 

Janet hesitated.  The sudden admission was so much less than what they deserved.  Where was the parade with the big brass band heralding the depth of her love? 

Sam stared at her in shock. 

"Theories, new ideas, other worlds…they're your life's blood.  But after everything, you always yearn for home…and that should mean me.  And Cassandra.  You need us, Sam, you need so much to be loved.  And we do.  Love you.  I love you." 

Janet was startled to find that she couldn't decipher Sam's expression.  She took a step forward and Sam immediately raised her hand, bringing her to a halt.  Her eyes were a morass of disbelief, bewilderment and even a touch of amusement.  She didn't speak and the silence stretched and bent until time distorted and it was impossible to tell if they'd been there for minutes or hours. 

Janet became hypnotized by the rhythm of her own breathing and she realized that she was fighting off a growing wave of panic.  She somehow found the courage to meet surprised blue eyes. 

"Can you tell me…what you're feeling?" 

Sam shook her head and ran a hand through her hair, buying some time.  "I, uh…speechless.  Completely and utterly blown away." 

Janet's heart sank. 

"Oh Sam…not in a good way I'm guessing." 

Sam abruptly brought her fingertips to Janet's mouth and gently silenced her. 

"Can you…can you give me a minute to…process…just wrap my mind around…it…please?" 

Janet nodded, the action causing Sam's hand to slip to her chin before dropping.  Sam raised that same hand and brought it to her own mouth, slowly shaking her head back and forth.  Awareness of the symbolism of that particular action was slow in coming but when it arrived, she tipped her head back and started shaking with laughter.  She lowered her head and looked at Janet with bemused affection. 

"Your timing is something else, you know that?" 

Cautiously, Janet let a weak smile flit across her face, unsure about the sudden change in mood. 

"I mean, in the middle of a department store, shopping for school supplies?" 

Janet's smile widened but she remained silent, letting Sam regain some equilibrium with her teasing. 

"Are we done here?" Sam asked as she swept her hand over the cart and lifted an eyebrow.   

"Um, sure.  Let's try this again another day." 

Sam nodded, "I think it would be better if Cass came next time." 

Dismayed, Janet let her eyes drop.  Sam took a step forward, deliberately moving into Janet's personal space. 

"That's not what I meant.  All three of us should go; after all, she's the one who's going to be using the stuff." 

Janet looked up and deliberately stared into Sam's eyes.  To her credit, Sam did not even blink, allowing the intense inspection. 

"Did I just fuck everything up?" Janet asked softly. 

Sam's voice was low and soothing. 

"Of course not.  At the very least, I'm extremely flattered…" 

Janet blinked, her expression suddenly pained and she would've turned away but Sam stepped closer again. 

"Janet, I need some time to let this settle in, okay?  I'm guessing that this isn't sudden for you but…it is for me." 

Janet opened her mouth to explain but Sam continued. 

"It's okay, I just…God…it just never occurred to me.  I mean it honestly never once crossed my mind that you…" 

"Sam--" 

"I…love you…as a friend.  You're my best friend.  We spend a lot of time together and I always look forward to seeing you, outside of work I mean.  And Cass has definitely played a part in my spending more time at your place…I guess…I always thought…aw hell, I don't know what I thought." 

Sam ran her hand through her bangs in frustration. 

"It's okay, Sam, really.  You can't make yourself feel--" 

"No, wait, that's not what I'm saying," Sam interrupted urgently, "I'm saying that I don't know what I feel.  I just never looked at you…that way.  But…but…I can't deny how important you are to me.  And not just because of Cass." 

Sam reached out and rested her hand on Janet's shoulder. 

"The last thing in the world I ever want to do is hurt you.  I know you're not getting the reaction you'd hoped for and I'm sorry for that, I really am.  But just because I need to think about all this doesn't mean that my answer is no.  Do you understand that I need to…to be a scientist for a minute; to analyze and make absolutely sure, one way or the other?" 

Sam shifted her hand, letting it trail up until she cupped Janet's cheek, running her thumb back and forth across the soft skin.  When she spoke, her voice was thick with emotion. 

"I have to know that whatever I feel is what's best for you, as a friend or a lover.  Anything less would be an insult." 

Janet leaned into the caress briefly, pulling back suddenly when she remembered where they were.  She smiled ruefully at Sam, mouthing 'sorry' and reaching back to pull her purse from the buggy. 

"Let's get out of here; it's almost time to pick Cassandra up from school." 

Sam hesitated, "Can we make it another night?  I know its last minute but…I don't think I'd be very good company.  I, uh, have a lot to think about.  And…I feel…exposed." 

Janet laid her hand on Sam's forearm, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to tilt you.  Well, not this hard, anyway." 

Sam smiled, "It's okay, I don't see what you could've done differently." 

"Thank you, Sam, I needed to hear that." 

Janet squeezed Sam's arm before releasing her. 

"I'll call you, okay?" Sam asked hesitantly, then flushed with embarrassment, "Gee, that sounded sincere." 

Janet laughed, "Don't worry about it, I know you won't avoid me.  You can't, I'll see you at work on Tuesday.  The colonel may be on vacation but you’re not." 

Sam nodded silently. 

"You okay?" Janet asked. 

Sam nodded distractedly, "Sure, of course.  Say hi to Cassie for me, please." 

And with that, she turned and made her way down the aisle.  She paused before turning the corner but she didn't look back.  Janet bit her lip, her thoughts jumbled, suddenly feeling very tired.  Tonight was a perfect night for ordering pizza and she was positive Cassandra would agree. 

Saturday passed relatively quietly, only three teams out and none due back for another day or two.  Sam remained locked in her lab, working on some new widget, as Janet dubbed all her projects much to Sam's amusement.  Janet went home and was caught flat-footed when Cassandra asked when they were going shopping for school supplies.  She hemmed and hawed and finally told the girl that maybe it was better if they went by themselves as Sam was extremely busy.  Janet noted her quickly stifled look of disappointment and it was that look that overrode her inclination to give Sam time and space to sort out her feelings.  Janet was a mature adult who could readily understand the need for distance but her daughter was thirteen and had a serious case of hero worship for the captain. 

Sunday morning Janet phoned and left a message on Sam's machine inviting her for a round of shopping for school supplies followed by supper back at the Fraiser household.  By two in the afternoon, Janet had run out of housework and Cassandra was glumly playing Nintendo. 

Janet was about to phone Sam and tear into her a little when she heard the distinctive growl of an Indian motorcycle pull up and stop outside.  Cassandra leapt up from the couch and raced to the front door, flinging it open and barrelling headlong down the steps and into Sam.  The tall captain bent and swung the girl into her arms, squeezing her tightly and turning in circles until Cassandra was giggling with delight. 

"Hi, pumpkin, all set to go shopping?" 

"Uh huh, I just have to get my runners and my jacket.  Wait here!" Cass said excitedly.  She wiggled out of the captain's grasp and hurtled inside, narrowly avoiding mowing down Janet. 

Sam hesitated a brief second before greeting Janet, "Hi there, sorry I didn't phone but General Hammond called a last minute meeting and I thought it would save time to just get here." 

Janet waved it off, "Not a problem, the house is now fit for guests thanks to you." 

Sam grinned but it was painfully obvious that she was extremely anxious. 

"Sam?" Janet leaned against the doorframe. 

"Hmmm?" 

"Don't worry, I'm not going to jump you or demand a ring or anything." 

Sam let out a nervous chuckle, "I wasn't worried but thanks." 

"I'll just grab my coat and purse and we can head out." 

"Sure, that's fine.  You know if you're busy, Cass and I can get this done by ourselves." 

Janet paused in mid-stride, turning slowly to face Sam. 

"Do you not want me to go?" she asked carefully. 

Sam shook her head slowly, "No, of course we want you to go.  I just thought you might have stuff to do, you know, grownup stuff.  It's always nice to have an afternoon to yourself, especially when you have a teenager in the house." 

Janet nodded and turned back toward the closet, reaching in and grabbing her coat.  She quickly pulled it on and reached for her purse on the table in the hallway, making sure she had her keys. 

"Obviously we're taking my car…" 

Sam shrugged sheepishly just as Cass thundered downstairs, resting her hand on the top of the girl's head as she waited for Janet to lead the way out of the house.  Janet stopped to make sure the house was secure and then lead the way to the garage.   

Although she'd been careful not to show it, Sam's obvious discomfort had stung Janet.  She breathed a heavy sigh; it was going to be a long afternoon and they still had dinner ahead of them. 

Shopping went smoothly, much to Janet's surprise.  Cassandra was not a child who immediately wanted everything she laid eyes on and the three of them managed to come to a consensus on every purchase.  Sam was so good with her, affectionate and patient and always answering the girl’s serious questions with equally serious answers.  Janet began to marginally relax.  Too soon, as it turned out for when they came back home, Sam immediately tensed up.   

Janet left the two playing Nintendo while she prepared a simple dinner.  The meal was eaten in relative silence until Sam felt eyes boring into her from across the table.   

Cassandra was staring at her. 

"Are you guys fighting?" 

Janet turned a startled gaze to her daughter as she spoke, "Why would you ask that?" 

The girl gave a small shrug and said softly, "You always sit next to each other.  And you're not talking to each other that much.  You only get sad when Sam's gone so it can't be that 'cause she doesn't have a mission until Jack gets back." 

“No Cass, we’re not fighting,” Sam said softly. 

Janet nodded her head quickly in agreement. 

"No, we're not.  Just…tired, I guess." 

Sam reached out and squeezed Cassandra’s hand reassuringly. 

"It's been a long day, kiddo, Janet’s right.  We're just tired, sorry if we worried you." 

Cass grinned in relief, then suddenly jumped up from the table. 

"I have homework to finish.  Will you check it before you leave?" 

Sam nodded and pulled the girl in for a hug before releasing her.  Janet watched her daughter's swiftly retreating back before shifting her attention to the woman sitting opposite her. 

"Out of the mouths of babes," Janet grimaced. 

Sam shook her head, "Not a problem, I didn't think it was so obvious." 

Janet sighed.   

"Sam, you're usually over here every chance you get, she was bound to notice.  I understand why you need some time to yourself right now but we have to figure something out.  I can arrange to not be here--" 

"Don't say that!" Sam pleaded, her voice pained and ragged.  She dropped her eyes to the empty plate in front of her and then abruptly rose and walked into the living room.  Janet sat for several minutes, giving Sam time to pull herself together.  When she finally followed she found Sam staring out the bay window, her face pensive in the reflection.  Before she could even think about what she was doing, Janet walked up behind her and reached her arms around the taller woman's waist.  Sam stiffened but allowed the gesture.  They stood like that for long moments, Janet gradually leaning forward and resting her forehead against Sam's back. 

"It's a beautiful night," Sam said softly.  "Care to take a spin?" 

Janet shook her head. 

"No way am I ever getting on one of those things.  I've spent too much of my career stitching motorcyclists back together to ever enjoy the experience.  Do you know that we call them donorcycles?" 

Sam turned in Janet's embrace and stared down into her upturned face.  They perused one another for long moments and then Janet heard it.  Felt it more likely, the thudding of Sam's heart but it seemed to overwhelm the silence of the room.  The penny dropped--Sam wasn't trying to avoid Janet because of her recent admission, she was nervous…like a teenage boy asking a girl to dance at the junior high prom.  

"Kiss me?" 

It was a bold request and Janet was sure that she was pressing her luck but Sam didn't bat an eye. 

"I think…" 

Sam let the thought drift, lifting a hand and resting it against Janet's cheek, her thumb smoothing Janet's brow. 

"I think I'd like that." 

And Sam slowly bent her head. 

Sensations, too many, rushing, then slowing…heat…soft press…skin…against her lips…brush…brush again…Sam's tongue requesting entrance…parting…wet…deep, so very deep…a low throbbing in time with her heartbeat…pulling the captain impossibly close…feeling Sam's hands run down her back and rest on her hips…more heat…more wet…everything more…Sam pressing into her…sliding her hand between them…deeper, rushing again…unbearable tension, no release…whimpering when Sam moaned…spiralling upward…faster now… 

"Ready?" 

Janet pushed her hands against Sam's shoulders, gasping for breath as Sam reared back, disoriented.  It took them both several beats to realize that the voice belonged to Cassandra.  Sam let her hands drop from Janet's waist as she swung around to face the girl. 

"Sure thing, be right there," Sam said, her voice deceptively nonchalant. 

Cass nodded briefly and ambled out of the room, her voice floating back to them, "Don't forget." 

Sam closed her eyes and then opened them, darting her gaze to a shocked Janet. 

"What the hell was that?" 

Janet choked out, "Uh, I think we just got caught making out.  And I think she probably doesn't know that's what we were doing.  Either that or she's the most non-judgemental child on the planet." 

Sam bit her lip while Janet added helpfully, "Maybe…maybe it's no big deal where she's from." 

"Hmmm," was Sam's only response but she sounded doubtful.  She eyed Janet as the smaller woman suddenly started to giggle. 

"We were making out." 

Sam stared at her, feeling herself start to blush furiously.   

"So…come to any conclusions?" Janet's voice was affectionate as she teased the red-faced woman who promptly ran a hand through her hair.   

"I think I'll check her homework now.  Back in a bit." 

Sam strode out of the living room and Janet flopped onto the couch, resting her chin in her hand, turning the situation over and over in her head.  She was still silently musing when Sam returned fifteen minutes later. 

"Janet?" 

"Hmmm?" Janet raised her head and looked blankly at Sam. 

"I'm going to take that ride now.  Sure you won't join me?" 

"What just happened here?" 

Sam frowned and then stated slowly, “I’d like to not…rush…whatever we’re doing if that’s okay."

Janet cocked her head in curiosity. 

"Are you embarrassed?" 

Sam pursed her lips as she mulled over her options, thoughts flitting across her face like clouds.  She lowered her head as she began to blush again. 

"Um, not…exactly." 

She mumbled something under her breath and Janet leaned forward. 

"What did you say?" 

"I said…aroused.  Kissing you.  Well, not the kissing you part but the kissing you part.  Although the kissing part was pretty damn good, too." 

Janet covered her mouth with her hand, her eyes round and unblinking.  A small "oh" escaped from behind her fingers. 

Sam took a deep breath before blurting, "I think that I dug myself a bit of a hole with all this.  I think that I got so wrapped up in thinking about whether or not I'm in love with you that I forgot to check my feelings.  I think…maybe I think too much."         

Sam paused and shook her head in exasperation. 

"I really need to hop on my bike.  I know I should probably stay so we can talk about this but can you give me an hour or so?  I promise we're not done here.  I just-" 

"Go." 

Sam shot Janet an assessing look. 

"I'm not mad, I promise.  Go clear your head and come back and we'll talk, maybe sort some things out." 

"For sure?" 

"Uh huh," Janet smiled reassuringly. 

The set of Sam's shoulders relaxed as a grin spread across her face.   

"Okay.  Tell Cass I'll be back in time to tuck her in, please." 

Sam crossed the room and grabbed her leather jacket from the back of the couch.  She spoke as she adjusted the zippers on the sleeves, "Last chance to change your mind." 

"You know that I never say never.  But…never." 

"You don't know what you're missing but okay.  I'll see you in an hour." 

Janet nodded but stayed silent as Sam turned and made her way to the front door.  She was gone before Janet realized she hadn't warned Sam to be careful.   

Janet managed to distract herself for the first five minutes but by the time an hour went by she was pacing the living room, deep in thought.  When she heard the Indian prowl up to the curb she gave a relieved sigh.  Mentally giving herself a shake, she sank down onto the couch and picked up a magazine from the coffee table. 

Sam let herself in, quietly closing the door behind her.  She walked into the living room and made her way to the couch, standing behind it and watching Janet's bent head.  She slowly reached out and ran her fingers through Janet's hair, resting her hand on the back of Janet's neck.  The doctor raised her head slowly, arching into the touch.  Sam leaned down and whispered in her ear, "I'll go tuck Cass in and be right back, okay?" 

Janet nodded, undone by the tickle of that voice in her ear.  She turned her head to watch Sam disappear up the stairs, the sight feeling like a memory yet to occur.  This was right…deep in her soul where it counted most, Janet knew this was right. 

She started as she realized that Sam had come back downstairs and was sitting next to her.  Janet ran a hand over Sam's shoulder, squeezing gently.  When Sam spoke, her voice was low and tentative. 

"God, I'm scared.  I've never felt this nervous about anything in my entire life."   

Janet's voice rose in question, "Do you not trust how I feel about you?" 

Sam shook her head slowly, "It's not you I don't trust, it's me.  We've been working together for over a year now.  We're good friends, close friends and we're…God, we're essentially raising a child together.  I care for you and I enjoy the time we spend together but…but it never occurred to me to be in love with you."   

Sam stared morosely at the fireplace as she continued in a hushed voice, "Now that you've told me how you feel, I can't help but doubt my response.  What if I tell you what you want to hear because I can't bear to hurt you?  I would never forgive myself." 

Janet smiled gently, squeezing Sam's hand in a comforting gesture, "Sam, I'm not asking you to shut off your brain.  That's one of the things I love about you, your ability to step back and be logical about almost any given situation.  And love…love is a logical thing, I think.  Falling in love with you was the smartest thing I've ever done." 

Sam managed a subdued smile as Janet continued. 

"You make me laugh, you're thoughtful and considerate and so tender hearted.  You treat Cassandra and me with such kindness and respect.  We get along so well…" 

"That's like, Janet, that's not love.  Or not in love, anyway." 

"Sam, look at me.  Look at me and tell me what you see." 

Sam raised her eyes to Janet's face for the briefest glance before shyly turning away.   

"Come on, we're friends, right?  Just look at me, please." 

Sam's gaze returned to Janet's face and she tilted her head as she took stock of the woman before her. 

"Really look at me, Sam, and tell me the first things that come to mind, if you can." 

The house was deathly quiet, Cassandra surely asleep by now.  Distantly Sam heard the kitchen clock ticking relentlessly down.  She watched infinitesimal specks of dust sway and twist in the light of the standing lamp behind Janet's right shoulder.  She focused inward, conscious of the heat from where her hand lay nestled in the other woman's grasp.  

"Safe.  In a way I haven't felt since before my mother died.  I feel appreciated, like what I think, what I feel, matters to you.  You're always glad to see me, interested in what I'm doing.  Things go wrong all the time, more often than my orderly mind would care to admit, and I know that just telling you will help.  You're an amazing doctor, better I think than even you realize.  You're so caring and compassionate with your patients...ferocious." 

Sam let her eyes flutter shut as her mind began to drift. 

"Brave.  You would do anything to protect Cassie.  There was never a doubt in my mind that you would be the best mother to her.  Crazy…funny.  Exasperating, that's another one.  You have the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen.  Sometimes I feel like I can read your thoughts when you look at me.  And when I kissed you…" 

Sam unconsciously licked her lips. 

"I wanted to see what it would feel like, what you would taste like." 

Her eyes flew open and she regarded Janet in astonishment. 

"Is that all right?" 

"Of course it is, Sam.  I'd be amazed if you weren't even the tiniest bit curious.  Amazed and insulted." 

The two women stared at each other for a split second before bursting out laughing.  Sam caught her breath first and settled back to watch Janet gather herself together.   

"I've never been friends with a lover." 

Janet abruptly sobered at Sam's stark statement.   

"I-I'm sorry.  Did no one ever take the time to simply be with you, Sam?" 

The blonde shrugged noncommittally, obviously not attaching any great importance to the lack.  

"What are you worried about?" Janet asked. 

"That I'll disappoint you.  That I won't be able to give you everything you want.  That I won’t be able to love you like you want me to.  That I won't be worth the effort…worth the wait…" 

Sam trailed off and Janet leaned forward, brushing Sam's hair behind her ears.   

"If we're never more than what we are to each other right now, you'll have been worth the wait, Sam.  Don't ever doubt that." 

Janet felt her heart turn over as she watched Sam struggle with her emotions.  Hope flared in the doctor's eyes when Sam wordlessly wrapped her arms around Janet's waist and buried her face in Janet's shoulder.  They stayed like that for a long time, not needing to talk, both giving the moment it's due.    

Sam blinked furiously, then yawned and stretched.  It took several minutes for her to discern her surroundings.  She was sprawled on Janet's couch or more accurately, sprawled mostly on Janet.  The doctor was dozing lightly, her eyelids fluttering open and then quickly closing again.  She had one arm tightly wrapped around Sam's shoulder and the other resting across the thigh Sam had flung over Janet's legs.  Sam took the opportunity to scrutinize Janet's countenance at rest. 

Glossy brown hair framed a heart-shaped face of milky white skin.  Perfect cupid bow lips, pert nose, eyes she knew to be expansive and expressive.  And something Sam had never noticed before…a slight overbite.  She reached out a long index finger and gently brushed Janet's lower lip, memorizing the softness that she'd briefly explored earlier that night.  She let her finger trail to the subtle cleft in Janet's determined chin, recalling the numerous times she'd been witness to the smaller woman's indomitable will.   

It was frighteningly easy to picture herself being in love with Janet. 

The object of her musings suddenly stirred and woke up.  Sam craned her neck and looked over the top of Janet's head to the end table, checking the time. 

"It's late, I should get going," Sam said quietly. 

Janet nodded but did not move.   

"Can I come over tomorrow, spend the day with you and Cass?" 

Janet nodded but again made no move to relinquish her hold on Sam. 

"You can stay tonight if you'd like." 

Sam hesitated, staring into eyes that turned black by moonlight. 

"In the guest room, of course." 

Sam swallowed.  "Of course." 

Janet leaned forward as if to rise from the couch but simply kissed Sam's cheek.  She rested there for a brief moment before shifting and kissing the end of Sam's nose, another delicate kiss on an eyelid, one on her forehead.  Sam raised her head enough for their lips to meet and her stomach lurched when Janet immediately opened her mouth for a deep kiss.   

They parted minutes later and Janet murmured, "Or not." 

Sam's eyebrows rose in question. 

"Not in the guest room.  Or not at all.  Whichever one you're more comfortable with." 

"Comfort isn't a factor," Sam murmured in an amazed tone.   

Janet waited while Sam gathered her thoughts. 

“It never occurred to me that I could like you, care for you and love you as a friend.  And then…and then feel this…longing for you, too.  I mean, kissing you was…is…”   

Janet smiled and tugged Sam down for another serious kiss.  Sam eventually pulled away reluctantly.   

"God, so much for not rushing things." 

Trying to cover her disappointment, Janet shrugged and said benignly, "Whatever you want, Sam." 

Sam traced her fingers across Janet's mouth, adding, "I have to go home because I need to pick up some clothes.  I won't have anything to wear for tomorrow."  She continued to trace Janet's features tenderly, "We can figure out sleeping arrangements when I get back, okay?" 

Janet nodded her head silently, not trusting herself to speak but her eyes were suspiciously bright.  Sam untangled herself from Janet's arms and stood shakily, regaining some small sense of equilibrium.  She grabbed her jacket and pulled it on then slipped into her boots, bending to tie the laces.  She didn't hear Janet get up from the couch and gave a small grunt when arms wrapped around her waist.  Janet leaned forward, letting Sam support her while she continued tying her boots.   

"Don't go." 

Sam straightened and turned, holding Janet slightly away from her. 

"I'm coming back, I promise.  And that's the easiest promise I'll ever keep, believe me." 

Janet ducked her head as fear suddenly squeezed her heart.  She grabbed the edge of Sam's jacket, trying not to overreact to the sudden onslaught of irrational dread. 

"No, I don't want you to go, Sam.  Please.  You can drive back home tomorrow morning to change.  Please don't go." 

"Hey…what's going on?" 

Janet shook her head before whispering, "I don't know, I just feel like everything's turned…everything I've wanted and hoped for is starting to happen and I'm afraid that this will be as much as I'm allowed." 

Sam cupped her hand beneath Janet's chin, gently encouraging brown eyes to meet calm blue. 

"I'll be extra careful, cross my heart." 

"Don't…don't say that.  Please, I know it's unreasonable and I sound half crazy but please, Sam…" 

Janet's voice broke and faded, her nervous fingers alternately clutching and smoothing the lines of Sam's jacket.  She suddenly took a deep breath and held it, releasing it slowly and looking away.   

Sam patted her arm, "This is wholly unlike you.  I'm not a careless rider, I never take stupid chances.  But…"  Janet turned to face her.  "If you don't want me to leave, I won't." 

And in that moment, Captain Samantha Carter realized she was in love. 

Janet turned and headed for the stairs, pausing at the bottom step and looking back.  She held out her hand and waited for Sam to join her.  They climbed the stairs together, Janet leading the way and Sam trailing her.  Janet stopped in front of the guest room and pushed the door open. 

"I think this would be a good idea tonight, don't you?" she murmured.  Sam nodded slowly, smiling gently. 

"You can have first dibs on the bathroom," Janet offered. 

"Thanks but you go ahead," Sam replied. 

Janet leaned forward and brushed a kiss across Sam's lips.  Sam took each of Janet's hands in hers and pulled her until they were hip to hip.  She stared into Janet's eyes for endless minutes as if committing her soul to memory, then slowly and thoroughly kissed her before releasing her and giving her a gentle push toward the bathroom.  Janet walked on unsteady legs, tossing a glance behind her to make sure Sam was still watching.  Sam smiled and said, "Can I tuck you in?" 

"I'm counting on it," Janet replied.  It took her five minutes to complete her evening ablutions and when she stepped into the hall, she could see Sam's shadow moving about the guest room. 

"All yours," she said, loud enough for Sam to hear but quiet enough not to disturb Cassandra.  Janet slipped into her bedroom and quickly discarded her clothes.   

By the time Sam returned from the bathroom, Janet was almost asleep.  The sheet was resting on top of bare shoulders and Sam leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on her exposed back.  Janet sighed and rolled over. 

"Time for bed," Janet said lethargically. 

Sam's voice was low, "I'm right down the hall if you need me.  Sleep well and I'll see you in the morning." 

Janet traced a cool hand down the side of Sam's face, "What if I need you now?" 

Sam grinned lazily, "I'll stay with you until you fall asleep, all right?" 

Janet mock-purred and nodded happily. 

Sam bent over and untied her laces, pulling off her boots.  She stood and fumbled with her belt buckle before methodically pulling her pants down, stepping out of them and leaving them pooled on the floor.  Tugging her black t-shirt up around her neck, she reached back to undo her bra.  She pulled her t-shirt back down, then perched on the edge of the bed and bent to remove her socks.  Janet reached under the edge of Sam’s t-shirt and dragged a nail down the center of her back, revelling in the sharp intake of breath the act generated.   

Sam swung her legs up onto the bed and leaned back against the headboard.  She straightened her arm out, inviting Janet closer.  The doctor paused before sliding across and resting her head in the crook of Sam’s arm.  Her t-shirt was soft beneath Janet's cheek and she sighed as Sam traced idle patterns on her lower back.   She couldn't contain the shiver that ran through her and Sam immediately leaned down and deposited a series of kisses on the top of her head. 

"Go to sleep," Sam whispered soothingly, pressing her lips to Janet's forehead.  She continued with her gentle ministrations until she heard the ebb and sigh of Janet's breathing letting her know the doctor was asleep.  She continued to draw lazy circles on Janet's back and arm for several minutes, then gently cradled her head and shoulders and lowered her to the pillow.  She slid down the bed and rolled onto her side, propping her head on her hand.   

Sam stared at the woman sleeping next to her, amazed at the difference three days had made in her life.  And in the span of one evening she’d realized just how easily she could feel attracted to Janet.  The memory of their kisses rippled through her chest, squeezing her heart and making her abdomen clench.  Ruefully she shook her head, knowing it would be several hours before she could fall asleep.  

Minutes later she awoke to the sound of a barking dog that was quickly shushed by its young owner.  Sam lifted her head from the pillow and stared at Cassandra balefully. 

"Janet says breakfast is ready," Cassie announced cheerily, "And it's your favourite, huckleberry pancakes and bacon.  Come on Digger."  And with that the young girl, dog in tow, turned and left the room.  Sunlight streamed through the blinds and Sam realized that she’d eventually slept…slept with Janet, even though she'd intended to spend the night in the guest room.  And been wakened by Cass, who hadn't batted an eye. 

She rose from the bed and stumbled to the bathroom, risking a glance in the mirror.  Her hair was standing on end, eyes blurry with sleep, t-shirt hopelessly wrinkled.  God, she was definitely going to have to stop at home and change.   

She ambled back to Janet's room and pulled on her clothes, grabbing her boots and heading downstairs.  She turned into the kitchen just in time for a glass of orange juice to be thrust into her hand.  Cassie was already seated at the table, eagerly awaiting her plate of pancakes, Digger at her feet.   

"Good morning, Sam," Cassie said brightly. 

"G'morning, honey, did you sleep well?" 

"Uh huh.  Did you?" 

Sam paused, unsure how to answer but Janet filled in smoothly, "Yes she did and so did I." 

Apparently that was all the information Cass needed because she promptly dug into her pancakes, surreptitiously dropping a piece for her attentive sidekick. 

Sam looked at Janet and rolled her eyes, then grinned when Janet winked and stuck out her tongue. 

"Ready for breakfast?" 

"Beyond ready, thanks," said Sam, gratefully accepting her plate.  Janet turned off the burner and brought her own plate to the table, sinking into her chair next to Cassie.  When the girl 'accidentally' dropped a piece of bacon for Digger, Janet shot her a benevolent look.  Sam watched them toy with each other, affection tugging her lips into a smile.   

"Cassie, how would you like to ride over to my place so I can change?" Sam asked casually.  Janet stiffened but held her tongue as the youngster leapt to her feet enthusiastically.  She quickly turned to Janet and paused. 

"Janet, can I ride with Sam?" 

Janet pursed her lips, then turned and shot a warning glance at Sam. 

"You'll be careful," but Sam knew Janet wasn’t asking. 

"Of course," she vowed. 

Janet gave an almost imperceptible nod and Cassie let out a whoop before flinging her arms around Janet's neck. 

"Thanks, Janet.  I'm gonna brush my teeth, I'll be ready in five minutes." 

Sam nodded gravely and saluted, "Aye, Sir.  I'll be waiting." 

The two women watched Cassie bolt from the kitchen, Digger racing to keep up, then turned and grinned at each other. 

"We shouldn’t be long, probably about an hour, okay?" Sam asked as she stood and carried their empty plates to the sink.  She rinsed them and put them in the dishwasher, shivering when Janet came up behind her and slipped her arms around her waist. 

"Perfect," Janet affirmed, placing a tender kiss on the back of Sam's neck.  Sam dried her hands and turned in the circle of Janet's arms.  They kissed briefly then parted, Sam snapping the towel at Janet's backside. 

"Just remember, physicals can be painful if the doctor is annoyed," Janet warned.   

Sam sketched a dismissive wave and headed for the front door, pulling on her boots and turning at the sound of Cass' footsteps on the stairs. 

"All set?" 

"Yes!  Be good, Digger, I'll see you later," Cassie said earnestly to the dog, then turned and stood on tiptoe to plant a kiss on Janet's cheek.  Sam opened the door and followed Cassie through, waving behind her before shutting the door. 

Janet walked to the living room window and watched as Sam adjusted the chinstrap of Cassie's helmet.  They straddled the bike, looking up to the window and waving goodbye and then with a gentle growl, they were gone.  Janet watched until the bike disappeared around the corner, then headed up the stairs to get dressed. 

Exactly sixty minutes later, Janet heard a car pull into the driveway.  Two doors opened and then slammed shut and she heard the excited chatter of a little girl and a much bigger girl as they walked up the front steps.   

“Janet says he’s really smart but he won’t ever learn to talk,” Cassie said earnestly. 

“Did they talk on your world?” Sam asked incredulously. 

“We didn’t have dogs on my world, Sam,” Cassie said, starting to laugh. 

“Oh…right.” 

Janet shook her head and headed for the stairs as Sam and Cassie came through the front door. 

“So, what are we up to today?” Janet asked as she rounded the corner, only to stop suddenly upon seeing Sam in a pair of snug blue jeans and a white button-down dress shirt.  She bit her bottom lip and tipped her head, smiling as the captain blushed deep red. 

“There’s a movie that I want to see.  It’s about these four girls who start a coven and try to rule their school…” Cassie started, her voice fading as she headed to the kitchen, “Anyone want a drink?” 

Janet stepped closer to Sam and ran her hands down the taller woman’s shoulders before coming to rest on her hips.  She stood on tiptoe, about to deposit a kiss on eager lips when Cassie returned from her pop-gathering mission.  Janet deliberately did not rush to let loose of Sam and she knew she’d guessed right when Cassie flicked a glance over them before calling out for Digger. 

“Movie it is, kiddo,” Sam agreed affably, leaning down and kissing Janet before holding out her hand for the young girl.  Janet turned on the answering machine and grabbed her sunglasses before following her girls out the door. 

++++++++++ 

“If she was a witch, why did she still have pimples?” Cassie asked in a puzzled tone. 

Sam burst out laughing and looked to her right, “I think that’s your cue, Mom.” 

“Too much bacon and huckleberry pancakes I guess,” Janet said blandly. 

Sam pulled into the driveway just in time to collapse in laughter.  Cassie climbed from the backseat and raced up the front steps, hurriedly unlocking the door and rushing inside. 

“What was that all about?” Sam asked, wiping her eyes. 

“Abigail Buckley.  She and Cass have apparently been the victim of some hideous accident and are now permanently joined at the hip.  Or maybe I should say the ear since I don’t seem to be able to use my own phone anymore.” 

“Ahhh,” Sam said knowingly. 

“Come on, you’re staying for dinner.” 

“Yes, Ma’am!” 

Cassie started talking before they even had the door closed. 

“Abby phoned and wants to know if I can sleep over.  Can I?” 

“You have school tomorrow, Cass,” Janet said carefully. 

“We won’t stay up late, honest.  Can I?” Cassie pleaded. 

“I’ll have to talk to Abby’s mother and make sure it’s okay.  What’s her name?” 

Cassie paused momentarily, “Uh, Mrs. Buckley?” 

Sam snorted and headed for the living room as Janet sighed.  She could hear Janet’s voice rise and fall in conversation with Mrs. Buckley and a minute later, the doctor sank into the couch beside her. 

“It’s a go.  She’s on staff at the hospital…Dr. Wheeler.  I’ve met her a couple of times.  Nice woman.” 

“Should I be worried?” 

Janet swatted Sam’s arm and then closed her eyes, sighing heavily.  Sam watched her thoughtfully. 

“I’ll cook dinner,” she offered. 

Janet giggled and said, “I will never be that tired.”  

“Okay,” Sam said brightly, “by all means, hop to it.  I’m hungry.” 

Janet didn’t even bother to open her eyes, simply reaching over and slapping Sam on the arm again. 

“Go help Cass get some things together and I’ll meet you back at the couch with beer in hand.” 

Sam nodded, “Deal,” and rose to her feet, calling up to Cass as she climbed the stairs. 

But Janet couldn’t resist doing a little prep work and before she knew it, she could hear the sounds of a video game blaring from the t.v.  Sam wandered in, grabbed the proffered mug of beer and headed back into the living room after giving Janet a healthy pinch on the ass.  

“Another Monday night and I ain’t got nobody,” Janet sang as she moved about the kitchen, coordinating their early dinner.  She paused and mentally rewound the lyrics before grinning and shaking her head.  “Not anymore,” she crowed exultantly. 

She risked a quick peek out the kitchen door, careful to remain hidden.  Sam was sitting ramrod straight, her attention focused closely on the go-carts zipping across the screen.  Cassandra lounged beside her, handily whipping the captain’s ass and grinning  proudly, pointedly yawning every time Digger took another sip from Carter’s beer.   

Janet shook her head and quietly closed the door.  She returned her attention to the stove, giving the pasta a quick stir and checking the prawns.  She settled the lid and grabbed the salt shaker, lightly covering the cutting board in preparation for crushing the garlic.   

She paused as the hairs on the back of her neck snapped to attention.  Shiver spines, a friend called it, starting somewhat innocuously at the lower back and by the time it reached the hairline, a twisting shrug was required to shake it off.  The after-effect was a dry, strangled throat; a gnawing tension in her gut and an ache between her legs that was decidedly ill-timed. 

She had almost chalked it up to nerves when the feeling skittered up her spine again.  This time, everything tingled and she brushed the back of her hand across her eyes, suddenly blurred.  She carefully set the knife down and opened the cupboard directly in front of her, grabbing a glass and making her way to the sink.  She ran the water over her wrists, waiting until it was icy cold and then filled the glass, downing it in several large gulps. 

She turned to go back to her preparations and gave a startled yelp at finding Sam leaning against the doorframe watching her.   

“Jesus, you scared the shit out of me!” 

Sam’s face lit with a brief smile. 

“Who won?”

Sam thought about it for a minute before answering slowly, “Well now, let’s see…if you’re talking about Nintendo, Cassie won.  If you’re talking about getting drunk, Digger definitely won.  But if you’re talking about luck, well…I did.” 

Janet frowned uncertainly. 

“Pardon?” 

There came that smile again, confident and…determined.  Janet swallowed past the lump in her now dry again throat.     

“Abby and Mrs. Buckley just left.” 

“W-what?  I didn’t even know they were here.  Why didn’t you—“ 

“You don’t mind, do you?” Sam smiled again. 

Janet took a halting breath, trying to slow her racing heart.   

“Janet?” 

“Y-yes?” 

“I’d like to talk to you for a minute.  If that’s okay with you…” Sam let the sentence drift, waiting for Janet’s rebuff or resign. 

Janet took one step toward her, then stopped when Sam raised a hand.  Echoes of a different afternoon when Sam had done much the same rang like a carillon through Janet’s brain. 

“I’ve been watching you all day,” Sam began quietly.  “With Cass, nurturing and guiding her…teaching her…helping her to build her wings.  You’re so good with her and you’re so good for her.  It’s so nice to see you outside work, relaxed and laughing and…beautiful.” 

Janet raised her eyebrows but Sam pressed determinedly forward. 

“What amazes me is realizing that there’s so much more I need to learn about you.  I don’t know if it’s the power of suggestion…I don’t think it is.  I think I’m finally just coming to my senses.  I feel like I’ve been sleeping my entire life and suddenly I’m wide awake. 

Sam paused and dipped forward, straining to be heard. 

“Remember I said that I didn’t want to rush anything…I can’t promise that I won’t be scared but…all afternoon it’s made me crazy not to be able to touch you…” 

Sam lowered her head until she was peering from beneath her bangs. 

“And I’d like to change that…now…” 

Sam clenched and relaxed her jaw as she stared hard at the woman standing before the stove.  The boiling water frothed and overflowed, spilling onto the burner and hissing, steam rising behind Janet as if she’d just appeared from the birthing of the world.   

“Would you take off your shoes?” Sam asked politely.  Janet blinked once and then stepped out of her heels, pushing them aside with a stockinged toe.  She was certain she would drown in her arousal while somehow simultaneously combusting.  

Sam stood still, hands falling to the fly of her jeans.  She carefully pushed the first button through the hole with her thumbs, her breathing shaky and laboured. 

Janet bit her lip as she walked forward, turning at the last moment to circle Sam, quietly moving behind her.  She paused and closed her eyes, inhaling her scent, before opening her eyes and resuming her steps until she was leaning against the table in front of Sam.   

“Come here,” Janet said quietly, her voice low and uneven.  Sam stared, her eyes leaving Janet’s face and roaming slowly, wantonly over Janet’s body.  Every place she looked Janet felt as tinder, flint or steel, sparking and flaming as demanded.    

“Please,” Janet requested and that one word caused Sam’s gaze to narrow and refocus on Janet’s mouth.  She took one step forward, reaching out and tracing the outline of succulent lips which promptly parted, allowing her thumb to slide inside.   

Janet reached up and placed a hand on Sam’s outstretched forearm, balancing her unsteady legs and pulling Sam forward at the same time.  Sam was suddenly right in front of her, leaning into her and pressing her off balance, lowering her head to capture Janet’s lips.  It was the most intoxicating liquor that Janet had ever tasted, the inside of Sam’s mouth, passion unleashed.  There was none of the hesitation and inquisitiveness of their first kiss, the exploration of a curious scientist.  Nor was there the growing confidence of their subsequent kisses as they’d learned to arouse and inflame each other.  This was the feral part of Sam run amok, cunning and swift, deadly certain of her instincts and ability to please. 

Sam reached behind and lifted, settling Janet on the lip of the table.  Janet groaned low in her throat as Sam’s fingers grabbed the edges of her dress, scraping the light material up her thighs and bunching it at her hips.  The fingers abruptly altered direction and began to tug at the waistband of her nylons, then her panties, pulling first one side down and then the other.  Janet swung her arms over Sam’s shoulders, resting there while Sam’s tongue coaxed and teased her own.  She drew one hand up to ruffle short blonde hair, tugging on an errant forelock and then gliding through again, pulling Sam’s head back and ending the heated kiss.  Sam groaned in frustration. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“Just checking." 

“What!?” 

“Are you absolutely positive you want to do this?”  

Sam gaped in amazement.  It took her long seconds to realize Janet was toying with her and an evil look spread across her face when Janet arched an expressive eyebrow. 

“Paybacks are a bitch, you know,” Sam hissed. 

“So…pay me back then,” Janet taunted, reaching around and squeezing Sam’s ass. 

Sam made as if to lift her and Janet placed a restraining hand on Sam’s chest. 

“Fuck that,” Janet swore, “I want you here.” 

There was a beat as Sam’s brain caught up with her pounding heart and then she surged forward, pressing her hand between Janet’s legs, a finger insinuating itself inside.  Her breath was hot against Janet’s ear.  

“And here...?” 

Janet nodded jerkily, grunting as Sam followed with a second finger.  Janet stroked her fingers down Sam’s arm, cupping Sam’s hand, sliding her index finger forward to nestle inside with Sam’s.  They began an agonizingly slow thrust and withdrawal, their tongues mimicking their movements.  Janet grabbed the front of Sam’s pants with her free hand and quickly undid the remaining buttons.  She tugged Sam’s underwear to her thighs and wrapped her legs around Sam’s waist, pulling her tighter, a guttural moan escaping her mouth when she felt Sam’s wetness on the back of her hand.  The low sound rocketed down Sam’s spine, imploding inside her chest and causing her to heave forward, pressing Janet back onto the table.  She jerked her hips forward, grinding into Janet’s hand, pushing their partnered fingers deeper.  Janet cried out and the exhalation spurred Sam to thrust again, gradually increasing her rhythm.  Sam bent her head and nuzzled a breast through the layers of clothing.  

“Off,” Janet gasped, “Get them off!” 

Sam grabbed the front of her dress and gave a sharp wrench, acknowledging the tearing sound with a satisfied sigh.  She snuck her hand under the elastic of Janet’s bra, deftly snapping the clasp and then gently squeezing the soft flesh beneath. 

Janet raised her head and met Sam’s half-lidded gaze, holding it as she desperately panted for air.   

“You’re so wet…” Sam murmured, distracted by the sounds and smells of their coupling.  Her own sex slid easily, rubbing against Janet’s hand and Sam slipped her fingers into the copious wetness and then reached up to trace Janet’s mouth.   

Janet ran her tongue over her bottom lip, savouring Sam’s taste before tugging Sam’s head down for a thorough kiss.  She spoke against the roughness of Sam’s questing mouth. 

“That’s how much I want you, Sam…inside me…deeper than anyone else could ever be…”  

Sam tore her mouth away and reared up, her hand gripping the edge of the table beside Janet’s head as she pushed fractionally closer.  She looked down, mesmerized by the sight of her driving hips causing their joined hands to relentlessly fuck Janet and in turn, escalate her own pleasure.

The look of utter amazement and awe that sketched across Sam’s face caused a jagged hitch in Janet’s heartbeat and a second later she gripped Sam’s arm, arching her back, her legs squeezing painfully around Sam’s waist.  She turned her head violently to the side, pressing her open mouth against Sam’s wrist and biting down as wave after wave of convulsions washed from her cunt to her throat. 

Sam slowed her rhythm as muscles clamped down on her fingers, hard enough to hurt only to release and then clutch again.  There was a pause and she tensed her forearm and thrust once and Janet released Sam’s wrist to scream but it was silent, her voice reduced to smoke and ash.  That soundless scream proved Sam’s undoing and she pulled their hands free and ground her hips into Janet, sliding in the viscous wetness of their lovemaking.  She continued for several strokes and then grew still, leaning down and gently collapsing across Janet’s prone form, an occasional shudder coursing through her.   

They lay together for long minutes, Sam ignoring the protest from her exhausted legs and Janet welcoming the weight of her lover.  She roused her hands and drew one aimlessly through Sam’s hair, the other tracing over forehead, eyes and nose and finally coming to rest against Sam’s mouth.  Sam promptly suckled at Janet’s fingers, washing them clean of the moisture from their combined climax. 

Sam eventually rose from the table, standing on shaky legs and running a hand through her tousled hair.  She grabbed the underwear and pants resting at her thighs and drew them over her hips, slowly buttoning the jeans as she contemplated Janet thoughtfully. 

“Have you done this before?” she asked, only curiosity sounding in her voice, “Been with a woman, I mean.” 

Janet shook her head, “No, never.  I’ve been tempted…seen women that I…wanted.  But never enough to pursue…” 

Sam nodded and reached out.  Janet grabbed the proffered hand and groaned as Sam hauled her to her feet. 

“Are you okay?  I didn’t hurt you did I?” Sam asked, concern lacing her tone. 

“That wasn’t pain, that was satisfaction,” Janet replied soothingly.  “I don’t think I’ve ever been so well and thoroughly made love to in my entire life.”  She ran her hands down her dress, smoothing the wrinkles, and made to clutch the gaping front closed but Sam batted her hand away and pressed a lingering kiss between her breasts.  Janet rested a finger under Sam’s chin and tipped her head back, stroking her brow and staring deeply into blue eyes, “Are you okay?” 

Sam nodded firmly, “I’m fine.  I’ll probably have a major freak out tomorrow but I promise I won’t shut you out.” 

Janet grinned and Sam matched her before they hesitantly turned away, both almost bashful in the face of their desire for one another.  The diminutive brunette slipped from Sam’s grasp and walked to the stove, carefully shutting off the burners and then bending to gather her discarded heels.  She turned and walked back and past Sam, pausing at the kitchen door. 

“Coming to bed?” 

Sam let a heated breath stream from her nose, her heart rate increasing slightly. 

“Yes…yes I am.” 

Janet held out her hand, tugging Sam forward as she backed out of the kitchen.  She made her way through the living room and up the stairs, facing Sam all the while, leaning forward now and again to pepper her face with kisses.  Sam determinedly pulled on Janet’s arm, trying to grab her but Janet artfully danced out of reach.  By the time they found their way to Janet’s bedroom, they were both laughing and stumbling in their haste to explore each other again. 

“Shouldn’t have done up your jeans,” Janet noted thoughtfully, “And you should’ve eaten something while we were in the kitchen.  You need to keep your strength up…” 

Sam arched an eyebrow at the unintended double entendre and Janet blushed furiously. 

“Uh, that wasn’t what—“ 

“Wasn’t it?” Sam interrupted, unbuttoning her shirt and discarding it on the floor.  She reached behind and unclasped her bra, hastily pulling it off and then tugging at the buttons of her jeans.  Underwear and socks followed until Sam was standing naked before her lover.  “‘Cause you know, I’m a pilot and a soldier and a scientist…I’m eager to explore brave new worlds, to boldly go where—“ 

“That’s not us, babe,” Janet admonished. 

Sam blinked owlishly and mulled it over for a moment before shrugging and wrapping her arms around Janet’s waist. 

“Whatever.  How about you have a seat and let me worry about my stamina.” 

“Let me get undressed first,” Janet protested. 

“Uh-uh, I want you just the way you are.  It’s like unwrapping a present,” Sam countered gleefully. 

Janet rolled her eyes and perched on the edge of the bed, valiantly suppressing a smile as Sam dropped to her knees and shuffled across the carpet.   

“Oh, now that’s sexy,” Janet offered between fits of giggles. 

Sam laughed and waggled her eyebrows before pulling Janet’s legs apart and settling between them.  She wrapped her arms around the diminutive doctor’s waist, holding her tightly.  They stared into each other’s eyes for endless minutes, neither of them in a hurry to break the spell of their connection.   

Janet moved first, slowly leaning back and pulling Sam up with her until they were flat against the mattress.  She wriggled from underneath her taller bed mate and sat up to begin removing her dress.  Sam rolled over but remained where she was, content to watch and appreciate the leisurely show.   

Janet stood and bent to remove her nylons and panties and Sam took the opportunity to trail a hand across her exposed cheeks.  The brunette gave an appreciative murmur and Sam half sat up, resting on one arm.  She tugged on the curve of Janet’s hip, drawing her down onto her lap.

She drew Janet’s legs astride her own before placing her hands on the insides of Janet’s knees and gently parting them.  Sam rested her chin on Janet’s shoulder, sweeping her hands over Janet’s breasts, smoothing down her ribs and belly, reversing direction and repeating the motion over and over. 

Janet reached her hand behind Sam’s head, fingernails lightly scratching her scalp.  She bit her lip as Sam’s hands drifted lower, skimming the edge of her groin.  Janet tipped her head back and her breath caught as she stared into the mirror resting atop the vanity across from her bed. 

It was the most erotic thing she’d ever seen, a sexual tableau sprung full bloom from the brush of Djuranovic.  Like tumbling from the darkened audience into the frames of an art house film, she watched as a blond head turned to suckle and bite the neck of the woman who resembled Janet down to the most intimate detail.  There was the beauty mark that rode the skin sheathing her left collarbone; the flat, muscled plains of her stomach; the gently curling dark hair that covered the rise of her sex…and newer things, things Janet was only barely beginning to recognize.  Swollen lips that parted in pleasure as Sam’s fingers dipped into the moisture between her thighs…lush breasts that strained against the hand firmly kneading them…brown eyes that glittered with unbridled arousal at the sensations coursing through her.   

“Look,” Janet said her voice a mix of wonder and desire, “Look at how beautiful we are…how beautiful you make me.” 

Sam raised her head from her wanton vocation, studying their reflection before turning her attention to the complex landscape that rose before her.  She rubbed her nose against the delicate bumps that divided Janet’s back, sticking out her tongue to lap at a line of shoulder blade.  She stroked her hand through delicate folds, dragging her fingers up to press flat against Janet’s pelvis before sinking back down.  It felt perfectly natural to continue her downward stroke and mingle Janet’s wetness with her own, delving inside first herself and then Janet, increasing the tempo until they were both trembling with desire. 

Janet leaned to one side, twisting and pulling Sam’s head down and thrusting her tongue into Sam’s mouth, echoing every tender invasion of Sam’s hand.  When Sam flung her head back and began to shake, Janet quickly closed her legs, trapping Sam’s fingers in self-exploration.  The sensation of that long, lean body writhing and straining beneath her brought Janet to an explosive orgasm and she clutched at Sam’s thighs, her eyes finding the mirror and their reflected heat as her insides pulsed and quivered. 

Sam pressed her forehead against the nape of Janet’s neck, her lungs heaving as if she’d run a four-minute mile.  

“Never felt—anything—like that—“ Sam grunted between breaths, unable to finish.  Janet spread her legs, releasing Sam’s hand and allowing her to fall back onto the bed.  Janet carefully stood up and turned around, surveying her exhausted lover with a concerned eye. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?”  

Sam nodded but when she made move to sit up, she winced and rolled onto her side, drawing her legs up and wrapping her arms around her knees.  Janet immediately knelt on the bed and placed a hand on Sam’s shoulder. 

“Turn over, Sam, I want to examine you.” 

Sam shook her head, “I’m okay.  Just—“ 

“Twingey?” Janet supplied, obviously not buying, “When you can, straighten out your legs.” 

“No, really, I’ve…I’ve got a stitch.” 

“A stitch?” 

“Yeah, I think I got a little tensed up there near the end…” Sam blushed and let her voice fall silent.  Janet smiled and let out a relieved sigh. 

“Can you stretch out now?  I just want to make sure, okay?” 

Sam nodded and tentatively uncurled, carefully taking a deep breath before letting herself fully relax.  Janet methodically but tenderly pressed her hand over and around Sam’s abdomen.  She nodded to herself and held Sam’s wrist between her thumb and index finger for half a minute, then let it go, satisfied. 

“So, am I going to live?” Sam asked cheerfully as she slowly sat up. 

“If I have anything to say about it,” Janet said lightly but a trace of something darker shadowed her tone.  Sam covered Janet’s hand, holding it tightly and staring into her eyes, trying to convey as much love and reassurance as she could.

Janet bowed her head and Sam leaned forward to press a kiss to the crown of her hair as she crawled forward, tucking herself into Sam’s waiting arms.  They stayed huddled together, Sam murmuring under her breath until Janet felt her eyes grow heavy.  She was about to suggest they get under the covers when Sam’s stomach let out an unearthly growl.  Janet jerked her head up, almost knocking Sam under the chin. 

“What--?” 

“I’m fine; really, we should probably try and get some sleep.” 

Janet disentangled herself and stood up, holding out her hand. 

“Samantha Carter, there is no way I’ll be able to sleep with that god-awful racket coming from your stomach, now come on!  I can heat up the pasta sauce and we’ll slice the French loaf and use it for dunking.  We can top it off with a Chardonnay that’s better than sex.” 

Sam burst out laughing and grabbed Janet’s hand, letting herself be pulled to her feet.  They trundled down the stairs and had almost made it to the kitchen when Janet came to a sudden halt.  Sam ploughed into her back, letting out a yelp followed by a muttered curse.   

“Sorry!” Janet apologized. 

“What are you doing?” Sam hissed, rubbing her nose fretfully. 

“I didn’t want you to think that I meant it,” Janet said anxiously.  Sam stared at her, completely bewildered.  “You know, the wine.  About it being better than sex.  Because it couldn’t be, not after that…” 

Sam pursed her lips in exasperation as Janet’s face lit with a mischievous grin.  

“Will you please get in the damn kitchen before I starve to death.  Or strangle you, whichever comes first.” 

“Yes, sir!” Janet barked as she snapped a salute.  Sam grabbed her by the shoulders, spun her around and pushed her into the kitchen, slapping her ass as she went. 

Thirty-five minutes later, bellies sufficiently full and the last traces of pasta sauce licked clean from various body parts, the couple abandoned their dirty dishes and headed back upstairs.  Sam lay down, turning onto her side and watching Janet extinguish the overhead lights.   

“Turn over, sweetheart,” Janet requested.  Sam looked puzzled but she rolled over to face the darkened window.  Janet stretched out behind her, carefully wrapping one arm around Sam’s waist and burrowing her other hand under Sam’s neck.  She felt the other woman relax back against her and she tightened her hold, burying her nose in fragrant hair and drawing her knees up to rest behind Sam’s long legs.   

“Feet are cold,” Sam muttered drowsily, not really complaining.  Janet smiled and pressed the appendages in question a little closer.  Sam grasped Janet’s hand and pulled it up to her mouth, depositing a kiss on the open palm. 

“You’ll be here when I wake up,” Sam stated softly and to Janet it seemed that there was a world of meaning in the quiet sentence.  She didn’t need to reply, stroking Sam’s cheek once or twice before resuming her possessive hold.   

She woke several hours later to find Sam staring at her.  She ran a fingertip down a leonine neck, brown eyes questioning and then shining brightly as she was gently pressed against the mattress, Sam’s mouth beginning to devour her with skill born of passion.  It was almost daylight when they finally slept. 

++++++++++ 

Janet was there when Sam woke up, snoring lightly and wrapped against her side, sheet pooled around her thighs.  Sam stared at her for a good twenty minutes, mentally cataloguing all the ways she was going to show Janet how much she meant to her.  She’d been given an opportunity…a gift, really, and she wasn’t going to take it for granted. 

Sam slipped from bed and hastily pulled on her clothes, quietly jogging down the stairs and into the kitchen.  She wrote Janet a short note and left it under the empty Chardonnay bottle on the counter before carefully locking the front door behind her and heading for her car. 

The complex was eerily quiet when Janet arrived at 10am and with a start she remembered that only one team was off-world.  Two other teams had returned late last night and Warner had administered all the post-mission physicals.  Janet slipped into her office, unnoticed for the most part.  She was immersed in paperwork when a knock sounded forty minutes later. 

Janet swung her chair around and said brightly, "Come in." 

Sam poked her head around the door, checking to make sure she was alone.  She carefully closed the door behind her and strode up to Janet, grabbing an armrest and spinning her around again.  She tilted the chair back until Janet was almost horizontal and then ducked down and hovered for several seconds before lowering her head.  Her lips caught Janet's in a searing kiss, tongue carefully tracing the outline of her mouth and then sliding firmly inside.  They explored for heated moments and then pulled apart, both aware how easily they could be interrupted.  Sam righted Janet's chair and sat down on the edge of her desk, a huge grin plastered across her face. 

"You better settle down, Captain Carter, you look like the proverbial cat," Janet remarked dryly. 

"Which makes you the canary," Sam replied. 

"When you decide on something, you don't fool around, do you?" Janet smiled in mock exasperation. 

"Actually…when I decide on something, I do fool around…repeatedly." 

"Zero to sixty in five, you fall in love like you ride your bike," Janet countered.

Sam frowned, suddenly unsure, "Too fast?" 

Janet rose and reached out to wipe Sam's brow, smoothing the worry lines. 

"I don't see how being best friends for over a year can be too fast, do you?" Janet crooned softly. 

Sam grinned in relief, "Sorry, I feel like I might go flying off in every direction at once.  I've never felt so off kilter in my life." 

Janet contemplated her for a moment before saying, "If I know you, you’re working on some new super-whatchamacallit; time to clear your head and focus, okay?  Now more than ever I need you to keep your wits about you." 

Sam stood and wrapped her arms around Janet, resting her chin on top of brunette curls. 

"Don't worry, I'll be careful."  

Janet pushed her face into the hollow of Sam's shoulder and rested in her arms.   

"I love you." 

She heard Sam's breathing hitch and then a muffled, "Thank you…God,I--" 

"You don’t have to say anything," murmured Janet, "Just…come find me when you’re ready for lunch." 

Sam released her and stood back, offering a shy smile before she turned and left.  Janet resumed her paperwork, shaking her head and grinning to herself. 

Thirty-three minutes later Janet was hurled from her chair when a massive explosion tore through the complex.  Stunned, she lay still for several moments before pulling herself to her feet.  She immediately picked up the phone but quickly realized the lines were down.  A hard slap to the red alert button produced nothing but a stinging hand.  Whatever had happened, it had been enormous.  It took a minute before her racing brain thought about who else was on level 21. 

Sam. 

Janet tore open her office door and raced through the corridors, glancing down each turn off to see if she could spot anyone.  She arrived at Sam’s lab, relieved to see that the door didn’t appear to be damaged.  She grasped the handle and swung it open, stepping inside and calling out. 

“Sam?  Are you okay?” 

Sam was bent over a computer, staring at the screen as information and diagrams flew by.  She briefly turned to Janet and gave her a quick nod. 

“I’m fine but there’s been an accident.  I’m trying to get some information before this thing shuts down.” 

“Shuts down?” Janet asked, moving towards her. 

“The screen is popping and blacking out.  I think it’s just a matter of time before it goes.” 

“Have you found anything out?” 

Sam ran a hand through her hair, her eyes roaming across the data. 

“No response from any systems on 18, 19 or 20 so I’m guessing it happened on one of those levels.  It’s hard to say how much of the complex was affected.” 

She suddenly straightened and turned towards the door. 

“Christ…” 

“What?  What is it?” Janet asked, touching Sam’s arm to get her attention. 

“Thank God the naquadah was down here but I don’t want to think about what else might have been released into the vents from the secondary labs,” Sam said grimly. 

Janet nodded, “Phones and emergency red alerts are down.  If your computer is dying, I’m betting the back-up systems were damaged.” 

“Shit!  That means the scrubbers are going to go, too,” Sam said, striding to the door and pulling it shut before turning to Janet, “which means we’ll need all the oxygen we can get until we know what we’re dealing with.  And this lab isn’t sealed so who knows what’s coming through the ventilation system.” 

“Blast doors?” 

“If back-up systems were damaged, the blast doors are toast.”  Sam dragged her hand through her hair again, eyes darting around the room as she ran through a mental checklist. 

“I don’t suppose anyone was dumb enough to leave a 2-way lying around…” she said hopefully, walking around and lifting up papers and binders.  “Aha!” she said triumphantly before sighing in exasperation.  She held up a radio, promptly followed by its partner.  “So much for trying to contact someone.”   

A low level rumble that both women first detected in their feet shook the lab.  Before Janet could even open her mouth, the computer quieted and the lights blinked out. 

“Follow my voice,” Sam said clearly.  Janet ran a hand across a countertop as she carefully picked her way towards the other woman.  She released a breath she didn’t even know she was holding when she felt Sam’s arms fold around her. 

“Back-up systems are definitely down which means we can’t just sit around here and wait,” Sam intoned quietly.   

“Thought of something brilliant?” Janet said, smiling into Sam’s shoulder when she heard the captain snort. 

“Thought of something, I don’t know how brilliant it is.” 

She carefully let go of Janet and moved away. 

“Stay right here, I need to find a flashlight.” 

“ ‘Kay,” Janet said agreeably. 

She heard Sam moving around the room, drawers being opened and glass rattling.  There was a click and suddenly Sam was aiming a light in her direction. 

“Presto,” she said happily, “this will definitely make things easier.  Now, where did I leave those radios?” 

“Right here,” Janet held them up. 

“Any headsets with them?” 

Janet rummaged on the counter and triumphantly dangled two headsets from her hand.  Sam grinned and made her way to a locker near the back of the room.  She reached in and hauled out an SCBA, setting it on the floor before running the flashlight inside the locker. 

“Well that’s that,” she said flatly. 

“That’s what?” 

“A single tank.  Only one of us is going and I just volunteered.” 

“To do what?”   

Sam swung the light around and aimed it at Janet’s feet, lighting a path for her to follow to Sam’s side. 

“I’ve got to get to level 20 and see what’s going on.  If it’s still intact I might be able to get to 19 and get a reading on the air, maybe contact someone and let them know we’re down here or even push past the blast area.” 

Janet nodded, taking the flashlight from Sam and turning it towards her.  Sam tilted her head in question. 

“You better get going.  The sooner you do, the sooner things will get fixed,” Janet said simply. 

Sam smiled briefly and then reached down to grab the tank, carefully slinging it over her shoulders and slipping her arms through the straps.  She grabbed the ends of the belt and locked them together, checking her gauges before clipping the 2-way Janet held out to her belt and looping the headset around her neck.  She made a last minute check of her equipment and then suddenly raised her head and locked eyes with Janet. 

“I’m smelling chloral hydrate,” she said uneasily.  She moved to the door and opened it a crack before slamming it shut again. 

“Goddamn…” 

“Sam—“ 

“Hang on, there has to be another way to do this.  Give me a minute.” 

“No, Sam, you have to go now.  If there’s nothing you can do on 20 or 19…or if you just can’t get through, come back and we’ll try and go lower, okay?”   

“Someone might make it up to this level from down below,” Sam said hopefully. 

“You’ll have things fixed before they get here,” Janet assured her.  Sam held her gaze for a long moment. 

“If I’m not back--” 

Janet shook her head and said firmly, “Don’t rush.  I know time is a factor but be careful.” 

“I want you to contact me every two minutes so I know you’re okay,” Sam said forcefully.  Janet nodded.  Sam bowed her head and sucked in a deep breath, holding it for a moment and then expelling it in a controlled release.  She nodded once and then slipped the mask over her head, making sure it was airtight.  She reached up and started the flow of oxygen and then adjusted the headset, making sure the mic was positioned properly. 

Janet donned the second headset and slipped the radio into her lab coat pocket. 

“Check, check,” she said clearly. 

Sam gave her a thumbs up before repeating the words.  Janet nodded in the affirmative and stepped back as Sam strode to the door, giving Janet a wave before turning the handle and stepping out into the corridor.  The door closed quietly behind her and Janet stared at it for a long time before walking to the computer and lowering herself into Sam’s chair. 

Janet drummed her fingers on the monitor for a minute before realizing she was only making herself crazy.  She yanked open a drawer and rummaged around, smiling when her fingers wrapped around a roll of duct tape. 

She dragged a stool over to the air vent, climbed on top and proceeded to thoroughly seal it.  Better to have a limited supply than a tainted one, she reasoned.  

She lowered herself back to the floor and was putting away the tape when she remembered she was supposed to check in. 

“Sam?” 

“Uh huh, everything okay?” 

“I’m fine.  I found some duct tape and sealed the air vent.” 

“Good thinking.  It’ll buy us some time at any rate.” 

“Have you seen anyone?” 

“Not a soul.  I think there were three people on in the gateroom and they might not even know there’s been an explosion.” 

“Just that the systems are dead,” Janet added. 

“Right.  And I have no idea how many are above us.” 

“Holiday.” 

Janet heard Sam grunt in agreement. 

“Janet, check in every five.  I don’t want you using up your air just to calm my nerves, okay?  I’m going to sweep this level just to make sure there’s no one here.” 

Janet smiled and nodded before realizing the captain couldn’t see her. 

“Okay.  Fraiser out.” 

If she’d thought it was agonizing to wait for Sam when she was off-world, it was nothing compared to waiting for her to make her way through the complex.  It was strange…not knowing what dangers Sam was facing through the Stargate was comforting in a way, allowing her imagination to conjure something positive and hopeful.  But the reality of a serious situation was somehow harder to handle.   

Janet shook her head to dispel the dismal turn her thoughts had taken.   

“Janet?” Sam’s radio crackled to life. 

“I’m here.  Sorry.” 

“No, it hasn’t been five minutes.  I’m at LV 21 / 28841 and I’m going to try and get to 20.  If the hatch above is bolted this is going to be a real short trip.”

 “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.  I’ll check back when I reach the top.”

“Watch your step.”

“Cross my heart.”

Janet could hear the distraction in her voice, already focused on the task ahead.

The radio went silent.  Every now and then Sam would grunt with exertion and the mic would broadcast it and then go quiet again.  Time dragged and Janet stood and walked to the air vent, carefully sniffing and then wondering if all she was doing was overloading her sense of smell.  She counted seconds, then minutes before settling back in the chair.  She turned the flashlight off in case they were trapped longer than expected.  She also decided that waiting sucked.  Absolutely nothing to do and pretty much all the time in the world to do it.  She thought darkly of the mountain of paperwork waiting in her office and shook her head in exasperation.  She got up and climbed onto the stool, carefully peeling back an edge of duct tape only to begin coughing.   

You okay?” Sam’s voice cut in.

 “Yeah, there’s definitely something in the ventilation system.”

 “Is it starting to seep into the lab?” Sam asked anxiously.

 Janet paused and then admitted, “I lifted the duct tape.”

 There was silence for a long moment and when Sam finally spoke, her voice was deceptively mild, “When I get back, I’m going to kill you.”

 “It was dumb, okay?  I realize that.”

 “You realize it was dumb,” Sam repeated flatly, “I’m relieved to hear it.  Do you know what happens when C₂ClF₃  is heated, Janet?”

 “Yes, I—“

 “It produces toxic and corrosive fumes, one of which is hydrogen chloride,” Sam interrupted.

 “Can you be angry at me later?” Janet asked quietly.

 Sam remained silent.

 “I promise not to do anything until you get back.”

 Nothing.

 “Sam?”

 “Jesus…”

 Janet felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up at the tone in Sam’s voice.

 “What is it?”

 “20 is…it’s bad, Janet.  I can’t get down some of the corridors.  If anyone was on this level…” her voice trailed off but the implication was clear.

 “Janet, I’m going to shut my mic off so I can call out, okay?  Give me one minute.”

 “One minute,” Janet confirmed.  She sank back into the chair, glancing around the room as she absentmindedly tapped the flashlight against her thigh.  Sam’s voice jolted her out of her reverie.

 “Nobody here.  Nobody that I can find, anyway.”

 “I don’t know whether to be relieved or worried.”

 “I think the blast happened on 19.  I’m standing under near where the labs would be and there’s a lot of debris.  I’m no engineer…”

 Her voice trailed off and then resumed.

 “The ladder was torn away from the hatch leading to 19 so my magical mystery tour is done.  I’m going to head back to you and wait—“

 Janet heard the beginning of an unearthly groaning sound just before Sam’s mic cut off.  There was a noticeable tremor and then silence.

 “What’s happening up there?” Janet asked.  She waited a beat before speaking again, “Sam?”

 A low moan drifted over the radio and for a split second, Janet wasn’t sure what it was.  The sound of violent coughing reached her ears and a split second later, Sam spoke.

 "Fuck…”

 "What happened?”

 "Part of the ceiling collapsed.”

 “Are you okay?  Can you move?”

 “I’m not sure yet, give me a second.”

 Janet’s mind raced with possibilities and she swallowed before she spoke.

 “You mean you can’t feel anything or you can’t move?”

 “Oh, I can feel something, all right…pain…”

 The emergency lights suddenly flickered on and Janet’s eyes adjusted to the green glow.

 “Somebody’s on the job, Sam, auxiliary power is up.”

 “Good,” Sam said, her words ending in a sharp gasp.

 “Tell me what’s going on, please,” Janet pleaded.

 “It hurts a little.  I can’t see anything…hard to tell which way is up, I think I’m on my side.  At least the scrubbers are back online.”

 Janet smiled at the realization of what that meant.

 “I can come and help you just as soon as the air’s clean.  I’m going to open the door and check.”

 “Not yet, it hasn’t been long enough,” Sam cautioned.

 “It’s driving me nuts that I can’t just come help you,” Janet admitted.

 “I’m okay.  Well, you know, all things being relative.”

 “Still hurts?”

 “Of course,” Sam replied good-naturedly.

 “Sorry, I’m in doctor mode.”

 Janet paced nervously before coming to a stop and staring at the black computer screen.

 “Obviously some systems were damaged because the computer didn’t reboot when emergency power kicked in.”

 Sam grunted in reply before taking a series of deep breaths.  Janet cocked her head.

 “Sam?”

 “Hmmm.”

 “Are you sure you’re okay?”

 Janet could hear Sam breathing rapidly through her nose and she frowned as she waited for Sam’s reply.

 “Butterflies.”

 “What?”

 “I have butterflies…you know…anxious.”

 “Maybe you have a phobia about confined spaces,” Janet offered.

 “I feel keyed up…”

 “Try and stay calm, Sam,” Janet soothed even as she resumed her pacing.

 Silence greeted her statement and she waited.  When Sam spoke next she was almost panting.

 “Janet?”

 “I’m right here, Sam.”

 “Hot.”

 “Systems were down, Sam, that would affect temperature controls,” Janet said as she walked back to the door of the lab.

 “Hard to breathe…”

 “The air’s no good yet, keep your mask on.”

 “Mask is on…”

 Janet frowned.

 “Where are you?” Sam asked abruptly.

 “I won’t go out until I’m sure the air is—“

 “Where are you?” Sam repeated, her voice soft and confused.

 Janet froze as she felt a shot of pure fear crawl up her spine and lodge at the base of her skull.

 “Sam, I think you’re hurt worse than you realize.”

 She could hear Sam gasping and she frantically racked her brain, searching for some idea of what to do.

 “You need to relax Sam, you’re starting to hyperventilate.”

 “Something…wrong…” the captain said dazedly, her breathing noticeably slower before the mic disengaged.

 “I’m coming right now,” Janet stated firmly.  She turned and headed for the door, yanking it open and stepping into the corridor.  Her eyes and nose were immediately assaulted by fumes but they were obviously dissipating.  She raced through the labyrinth of hallways until she reached the access hatch, trying vainly to hold her breath, her eyes streaming.  The air was much cleaner inside the shaft and she took several deep gulps before starting her climb.

 “Sam?  Come on, I need you to talk to me, tell me what’s happening.”

 Janet paused but her radio remained silent.

 “I think your line is twisted.”

 She waited and then repeated, “Sam, check your line.  You’re not getting oxygen, that’s why you can’t breathe.  You need to take your mask…” Janet’s voice slowed to a halt as she realized what was happening.

 “Oh Christ, you can’t take your mask off, can you?”

 There was no reply.

 Janet increased her speed only to slip and nearly lose her grip, clinging to the ladder with white knuckles.  She kicked off her heels and listened as they clattered down the long drop, then reached up and resumed her climb, slower and more careful.  Her progress seemed agonizingly slow and more than once she caught herself screaming in frustration.  She finally heaved herself up the ladder to the hatch leading to Level 20, giving it a healthy shove and swinging onto solid ground.  She scrambled to her feet and then came to a stop as she took in the situation.  Exposed electrical lines were dangling and sparking down the main corridor and there were cave-ins down every side hallway.  Luckily nothing had caught fire and the remaining fumes seemed to be clearing.

 “Sam, where are you?”

 Janet began to pick her way through the debris as she continued talking.

 “Come on, Sam, I can’t help you if you won’t tell me where you are.”

 Janet thought back to their conversation before the ceiling collapsed.  Sam had mentioned that she’d been standing under near where the labs on 19 would be.  Crossing her fingers, Janet carefully made her way forward, unmindful of the sharp jabs of pain underneath her stockinged feet.  It seemed to take forever and she passed several large structural collapses before coming to a massive obstruction halfway down the corridor.

 “Sam?”

 She was about to turn and retrace her steps when she realized what she was seeing.  This cave-in was directly beneath the labs which meant Sam was trapped somewhere beneath one of the smaller mountains of debris that she’d just passed.  She turned around so fast she almost lost her balance and she reached a steadying hand out to brace herself, fingertips barely tracing the cracked and crumbling walls.

 She squatted next to the closest pile of rubble, eyes frantically raking back and forth, carefully pulling a jutting two-by-four from the top and then wincing when the debris abruptly shifted.  She came to a dead stop as an idea suddenly occurred to her.  She tore the headset off and grabbed the 2-way from her pocket, pressing the emergency locator.  A faint beeping reached her ears and she crouched closer before moving away and on to the next cave-in.  The beeping grew louder.

 Janet hastily began lifting chunks of rebar and concrete, setting them down next to her.  She moved quickly but carefully, mindful that any jarring might put Sam in further danger.  She stopped abruptly when her hand brushed against soft fabric, quickly following it and discerning that it was a pant leg.  She began to frantically tear at the remaining wires and hunks of cement, uncovering first a boot and then moving up to free Sam’s waist and chest, finding an arm stretched awkwardly behind her back.  Finally her head was revealed and Janet grabbed the edge of the face mask and pulled it up and off.

 Going against every ounce of her professional training, Janet pulled on Sam’s shoulder until she was sitting upright.  She quickly yanked the oxygen tank off and then slid her hands under Sam’s arms and tightened them around her chest, dragging her clear of the rubble and stretching her out in a relatively clear area of the corridor.  She sank to her knees and ran her hands quickly over Sam’s arms and legs, then reached behind and felt around her skull. 

 “Dislocated shoulder and a possible skull fracture,” she muttered out loud, the sound of her voice echoing in the quiet of the corridor.  She tilted Sam’s head back, pressing on her chin and opening the airway before leaning down and listening carefully.  Sam wasn’t breathing, Janet’s hand on her diaphragm confirming it.  She shifted and placed her mouth over Sam’s, pinching her nose and offering precious air, watching Sam’s chest rise from the corner of her eye.  She palpated the carotid and held her fingers there briefly.  Nothing.

 She began chest compressions, mentally counting to fifteen and then ventilating twice before repeating.  She stopped after a minute and rechecked Sam’s pulse.  Nothing.

 “Come on, Sam, don’t do this to me,” Janet said grimly, beginning the cycle of compressions and mouth-to-mouth again.  The lights suddenly flicked on and she blinked in the harsh glare.  She studied Sam’s pale face with a practiced eye, noting the bluish tinge to her lips.  Perspiration began to bead at her hairline and her heart hammered in her chest. 

 Nothing.

 “I will not let you do this, Sam.  I will be goddamned if I’ll let you do this,” Janet said angrily.  She could feel a trickle of sweat between her shoulder blades as she continued her ministrations.  She coughed several times and squeezed her eyes shut, remembering that there were still toxic fumes circulating.  She shook her head angrily and pressed her mouth again to Sam’s, blowing in twice before resuming compressions.

 Nothing.

 This was not happening…this was not…the thought echoed in her brain like a prayer and she had a brief vision of Sam losing to Cass at Nintendo…yesterday?  God, was it only yesterday that Sam had completely overwhelmed her, literally sweeping her off her feet and making love to her half the night?  She glanced away for a second, forcing back the images that threatened to flood her brain.

 “You’re scaring me, Sam, quit fucking around,” Janet husked, her arms now trembling with exhaustion.  Tears ran down and off her chin, dampening the captain’s fatigues.  She gulped back a sob and ducked her face, wiping it on the sleeve of her lab coat.

 Nothing.

 Janet gradually became aware of a soft keening noise that seemed to resonate through her skull.  She refocused her attention for a moment, trying to discern the source before abruptly realizing that she herself was responsible for the terrible sound.

 “Please don’t do this, Sammy…please, I need you to breathe,” Janet pleaded, her voice choked and broken, achingly aware that she wouldn’t be able to keep going much longer.  She continued for several more seconds and then suddenly stopped, falling sideways off her knees and coming to rest sitting on the floor.  Her hand found Sam’s neck automatically and it took her several seconds to recognize what she was feeling. 

 A pulse.

 Before she could even think a loud scraping noise from down the hall caught her attention.  A minute later the access hatch once again swung wide and a fatigue-clad figure rappelled into the corridor.  He wore a gas mask and shouted out as he caught site of Janet.

 “Doctor Fraiser?  Are you all right?”

 Daniel. 

 Janet tipped her head back and let herself cry as Daniel rushed forward, dropping to his knees at Sam’s side.

 “Here, put this on, we need—“

 Janet shook her head and pushed his hand away, rejecting the extra gas mask.

 “I only just got her pulse back, Daniel.  She was down for several minutes.  We need to get her out of here and on oxygen.”

 A second figure swung into the corridor and headed towards them, his massive bulk letting Janet know immediately who it was. 

 “I need a litter and a neck brace,” she said tersely.

 Daniel spoke into his 2-way as he watched Teal’c retrace his steps to the access shaft. 

 “General Hammond, it’s Daniel.  We need a litter lowered down the shaft as soon as possible.  And a neck brace.”

 “Done,” Hammond replied succinctly.  A minute later Teal’c reached into the shaft and pulled the litter into the corridor, carrying it back to where Sam lay.  Janet carefully unstrapped the brace and gently placed it around Sam’s neck.  She nodded and Teal’c immediately slid his arms under Sam’s shoulders and legs, lifting her and then depositing her into the litter.  Janet buckled the restraints, taking particular care with the strap across Sam’s forehead.  Daniel and Teal’c grabbed the litter at either end and quickly made their way back down the corridor. 

 Teal’c attached the carbiner on the life support rope to the ring of the litter, nodding his head slightly and Daniel took the cue, speaking into the radio, “She’s good to go, General.”

 Teal’c supported the litter as it slid forward, hanging onto the end so it didn’t suddenly bang against the walls of the shaft.  He let go and the litter disappeared from view.

 Daniel turned to Janet, catching her as she sagged against him.

 “You’re next.  And put this damn mask on before you pass out.  Please.”

 Janet didn’t have the strength to argue, slipping the mask on and leaning gratefully into Daniel’s side.

 “Dr. Fraiser, is there anyone else on this level?” Teal’c asked quietly.

 “Not sure.  Every hall I looked down had some sort of cave-in.”

 “Once you have been safely transported, we will stay and search the area.”

 “Do you know what happened?” Janet asked.

 Daniel shook his head, “No idea but it was big, I’ll tell you that much.  Happened on 19 and it blew a lot of the systems.  We’ll be cleaning this up for the next while.  No fatalities so far, knock on wood,” he said, tapping his head lightly.  Janet offered a weak smile but it didn’t quite reach her eyes.

 “The litter has returned,” Teal’c informed them.  Daniel supported Janet beneath her elbow as she stepped delicately into the litter, releasing an exhausted sigh as she was strapped in.

 “Where are your shoes?” Daniel asked in a puzzled voice.

 “Gateroom,” Janet said tiredly, “Or thereabouts.  I want those back by the way, they cost me sixty dollars.”

Daniel pursed his lips as the litter was pulled toward the shaft before being lifted out of sight.  Teal’c raised an eyebrow and waited but Daniel remained silent.  Both men turned and began the search for more personnel.

++++++++++

“…on her own…life support for right now…”

 Janet shook her head and strained to her what Dr. Warner was telling General Hammond.

 “…re-evaluate over the next six hours…Glasgow goes up…”

 Janet pulled the oxygen mask from her face and swung her legs off the bed just as Warner came around the curtain.  He took one look at her and shook his head side to side, a threatening look on his face.

 “How is she?” Janet asked firmly, refusing to be cowed.

 “Janet, do you know what inhalation of hydrogen chloride can do to a persons lungs?”

 Janet put her hands on the bed, preparing to step down.

 “Don’t you dare.  A lung edema is nothing to fool around with,” Warner said sharply.

 “Tell me how she’s doing or I’m getting out of this bed and checking for myself.”

 “Fine, put the oxygen back on and I’ll give you a complete report,” he bargained.  Janet frowned and opened her mouth to argue only to be waylaid by a bout of coughing.  Warner had the good grace not to look triumphant as he hurried forward and helped her back under the covers.  He pulled the blanket up around her shoulders and carefully checked her pulse.

 “Take it easy, Janet, killing yourself won’t help Captain Carter regain consciousness,” Warner said soothingly.

 “I heard you briefing General Hammond.  What’s her Glasgow?”

 Warner sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

 “E1M4V2.”

 Janet felt a sharp pain streak through her chest and she raised a hand to her eyes, brushing at them briefly.  She struggled to control her breathing so she wasn’t fighting the oxygen and then lowered her hand, letting her gaze drift somewhere to the left of Warner’s face. 

 “But I’m hoping that will change.”

 Janet looked at him bleakly as he continued.

 “She threw an arrythmia—“

 Janet winced and turned her head to the wall for long moments as she tried to compose herself.

 “And?” she asked shakily.

 “We got her back relatively easily.  She’s on a vent and we’re monitoring her closely.”

 “This isn’t happening,” Janet said hoarsely, shaking her head in disbelief.  She turned to look at Warner as he cleared his throat.  “What else?”

 “Dislocated left shoulder, multiple contusions and abrasions…all things considered, pretty minor.  No skull fracture, neck and spine look good.”

 “Pretty minor,” Janet repeated softly, staring at her hands.

 “Your daughter’s here.  She’s been waiting outside with Dr. Jackson while we got you settled.”

 “Oh God, Cassandra.  She must be scared to death.  Can she come in?”

 “Of course.  But before I go get her, let me tell you a couple of things.  One, you have some serious cuts on the soles of your feet so please don’t start wandering all over the place.  Two, you’re still recovering from those fumes so I want you to stay warm, relaxed and on oxygen for as long as possible.  Three, you did fine work on Captain Carter.  She’s still alive because of you…don’t forget that.”

 Janet swallowed but she stayed silent and Warner sighed heavily before turning away and poking his head out the door.

 “You can come in,” he said warmly.  A second later Cass rounded the corner.  She ducked out from under Daniel’s comforting arm on her shoulder and raced to Janet’s bedside, engulfing her in a crushing hug.

 “Hi baby, I’m okay, everything’s going to be okay,” Janet whispered, stroking Cassie’s hair.

 “Are you sure?” Cass asked, pressed so hard against Janet that her voice was muffled.

 “Cross my heart,” Janet vowed, her chest tightening painfully when she remembered where she’d last heard those words.

 “What is that?” Cass said, pointing to the oxygen mask.

 “I have a cough and this is helping,” Janet said simply.

 “Where’s Sam?” the girl asked worriedly, “I asked and no one will tell me anything.”

 “I’m sorry, honey, it’s a rule around here.  Sam’s…sleeping right now.”  Janet paused before asking, “Do you want to see her?”

 Cassie nodded, clutching Janet's hand.

 Janet asked quietly, "Have you eaten anything?  Want to grab something from the mess?"

 The girl shook her head, "I want to see Sam first."  She looked up at Janet with wide, frightened eyes.  "I can stay, can't I?"

 "Of course, baby," Janet soothed, "Let's go see if they’ve finished fussing with her yet."

 Warner stared pointedly at her as she pulled back the covers.  Janet paused and tugged on Cassie’s hand.

 “Cassandra, I’ve got some scrapes on the bottom of my feet; I’m going to have to use a wheelchair but I’m okay, I swear.”  Cass nodded imperceptibly.  Daniel hurried to the hallway and grabbed a chair, pushing it into the room and helping Janet settle into it.  He grabbed the oxygen tank and stuck it in the pocket behind the chair.  She tipped her head back and smiled in thanks and then said, “Would you mind if just Cassandra and I went in?”

 “Of course not.  I’m going to head back and help with the search and clean-up.”

 Janet nodded and smiled gently as Daniel leaned down to kiss her forehead.  Cassie grabbed the wheelchair and pushed it to the end of the row of beds, carefully positioning it by Sam.  She was unconscious, her face pale and drawn.  Janet brushed a lock of hair from her forehead, then pressed fingers to her neck, checking her pulse.  She stared hard at Sam’s features, searching desperately for even the slightest sign that the captain was regaining consciousness, but she was denied.  Cassie let go of Janet's hand long enough to lean over and kiss Sam's cheek.

 "How long does she have to stay here?"

 "For awhile, Cassandra, she—" Janet abruptly stopped, unwilling to admit how precarious things were.  The next six hours were critical and nothing was certain but Cassie didn't need to hear that. 

 Cassie patted Sam's arm before returning to Janet's side.

 "We can take care of her, right?"

 "Hmmm?" Janet asked, her mind a jumble of prayers at war with clear-eyed realism.

 "When she leaves here she can get better at our house," Cassie explained.

 Janet nodded, squeezing Cassie's shoulder. 

 "I’ll stay here until she wakes up, you can call Mrs. Maguire to look after Digger," Cassie suggested.  "I can get you something from the mess if you’re hungry."

 Janet stared at Cassie in surprise.  The girl looked at her through wise and ancient eyes before stepping behind her and pushing the wheelchair back to her bed.  They paused before they left, staring back at the still form.  Janet blinked back her tears before Cassie noticed but as she stood to return to bed, Cassie reached up and brushed her hand across Janet's cheek.

 ++++++++++

 Warner was unable to prevent Janet from returning to Sam but he insisted that if nothing else, Cassie needed proper sleep and promptly helped her into Janet’s bed.  Janet sat in a chair at Sam's side, running her fingers back and forth across the expanse of Carter's arm.  Cassie moved restlessly and Janet's eyes strayed to her daughter, doing a leisurely visual check before returning to the woman lying before her.

 If Sam died…Janet felt the grief rise and she tilted her head back, fighting it every step of the way.

If she’d realized what was going on even ten minutes sooner...

If she’d been faster in reaching Sam…

If she’d started CPR immediately instead of checking for injuries…   

The quiet blip of the heart monitor became the soundtrack to her terror and regret, until she was literally shaking with emotion. 

"Janet?"

Janet looked up, stunned to find tears streaming down her face while Cassie frantically patted her back, looking desperately scared.  Janet wrapped her arms around the girl, pulling her into a hug, "I'm sorry, Cassandra, I didn't mean to frighten you.  I'm just…" she whispered.

"Me too," Cassie said haltingly and Janet's heart squeezed painfully.  After a long moment Cassie tugged Janet to her feet, supporting her as she gingerly walked back to her bed.

"Come on, we'll be right here when she wakes up," she reassured Janet.

The doctor nodded slowly, running her hand through her daughter's hair.  "I love you, Cassandra, so much.  I hope you know that," she whispered.

"I do.  I love you too," Cassie replied gently.

Janet smiled at her and pulled back the sheets, both of them climbing tiredly into bed.  Cass was asleep in seconds, snuggled inside the circle of her mother's arms.

++++++++++

Janet awoke to utter silence.  She blinked fuzzily, trying to place her surroundings, then jerked upright as memory returned. 

Cassie stirred beside her and Janet quickly checked the bedside clock, realizing they’d slept for several hours.  Footsteps sounded down the corridor and Dr. Warner entered the room.  He smiled at her and spoke quietly, taking care not to wake Cassie.

“How are you feeling?”

“Good…I think I dodged one, Brian,” Janet said.

“You’re extraordinarily lucky, you know that,” he stated kindly.

Janet nodded slowly, "I'm going back to sit with her if that's okay."

Warner nodded, "We're checking her every fifteen minutes."

"Thank you," said Janet.  Cassie was still sleeping and Janet resumed her vigil from the day before, lowering herself into a chair next to Sam's bed.  She reached out and lifted Sam's hand, lacing their fingers together, contemplating the pale features.

"You stepped in it this time, Sam, but you're going to be just fine, I promise," Janet said softly.  She pressed Sam's hand against her cheek.  She did not move as General Hammond quietly entered.

"How's she doing?" he whispered, stopping at the foot of Carter's bed.

"A little better," she said simply.

"Dr. Fraiser?" Hammond said.

Janet raised her eyes from Sam's prone form and briefly glanced at him before resuming her watch.

"Yes, sir?"

"How are you feeling?" Hammond asked pointedly.

Janet took a deep breath before answering honestly, "More tired than I've ever been in my life.  Scared.  Hopeful.  Guilty."

"Guilty?"

Janet swallowed the lump that suddenly appeared in her throat, “I didn’t realize how much trouble she was in--"

"There was no way you could’ve known," Hammond said gently, stepping behind Janet's chair and bringing his hands to her shoulders.

Janet nodded, more to herself than in acknowledgement of his words. 

 “All things considered this ended better than I expected.”

 Janet swung her head around and stared at Hammond.  He spoke carefully, “We think SG-6 brought back something that they shouldn’t.  Standard procedure is containment in Sam’s lab on 19…it’ll be weeks before the facility is close to being fully operational.”  He paused and shook his head, “But we didn’t lose one single person.  That’s a remarkable thing, Doctor.”

 He sighed and stepped again to the foot of Carter’s bed.

 “Captain Carter is one of the finest officers I’ve ever had the pleasure of serving with.  She willingly put her life on the line to help her fellow soldiers.  Terrible things may have happened because she chose not to do the safe thing but we both know she did the right thing.  And so did you.”

 “Thank you, sir,” Janet hushed, brushing a hand across her eyes.

 “Now I suggest that you get some sleep.”

 “I did, sir—“

 “Three hours does not constitute solid shuteye, Doctor.  Don’t make me order you to go home.”

 “Sir, I just need to be here when she wakes up.  After that I’ll leave, I promise.”

 Hammond studied her for long moments, “We don’t know when that might be, Doctor.”

 Time stretched between them as they looked at each other and it seemed to Janet that General Hammond could clearly see where her heart lay.  If he did he didn’t say, merely nodding and moving to the door. 

 “Give the captain my regards when she wakes up and tell her I’ll be in to see her as soon as I can.”

 “I will, thank you, sir.”

 Janet watched the general’s retreating back and then returned her gaze to the pale figure before her.  For the first time since the explosion she felt herself marginally relax.  Sam was alive.  Janet studied her face, deceptively peaceful in repose.  Without even consciously realizing it the doctor began to hum under her breath.  She drew her hand tenderly across Sam’s cheek, lowering her head to rest on her arm.  In minutes she was asleep.

 ++++++++++

 When Janet awoke, Dr. Warner was standing at Sam’s side, quietly examining her.  She stayed silent as he checked her vitals and jotted some notes on her chart.  He turned to leave and noticed that she was awake.

 “E2M5V3.  I wouldn’t be surprised if she started coming around in the next little while,” he said firmly.

 Janet almost wept in relief, squeezing Warner’s hand and smiling joyously.  He grinned and gave her a reassuring pat on the shoulder before continuing, “You know this next part won’t be pleasant, Janet.  Are you sure you want to—“

 “Yes.”

 He nodded, patted her shoulder again and was about to leave when Janet stopped him.

 “Could you please have Daniel come to see me?”

 He nodded and left.  Half an hour later Daniel rounded the corner, brows knit together in concern.

 “Is everything okay?  Sam’s not worse is she?  Warner just gave us an update--”

 “I don’t want Cassandra here when Sam wakes up,” Janet said, “As she starts coming around, she’ll be in a lot of pain.  I don’t want Cassandra to see or hear that.  I know it’s a lot to ask but could you…”  Janet’s mind went blank as she tried to come up with something to keep Cassandra occupied without arousing her suspicions.

 “Maybe you should just tell her the truth, Janet.  I know she’s only twelve but…she’s seen things, been through things.  And now is not the time to start keeping things from her,” Daniel said kindly.

 Janet grimaced but nodded at the truth of his words.  She stood and walked to where Cassandra lay sleeping, gently shaking her until she yawned and then opened her eyes.

 “Cass…I thought you and Daniel might like to get something to eat and then maybe get outside for some fresh air.  How does that sound?”

 Cassie blinked once or twice and then swung her head in Sam’s direction.

 “She’s not dying, is she?  You’re not sending me away because she’s going to die?” Cassie said hesitantly, trying to control her suddenly trembling chin.

 Janet wrapped her arms around the girl, pulling her forward until Cass clung to her, easily lifting her and engulfing her in a crushing hug.

 “She’s okay but she’s going to start waking up soon.  She’s going to be confused and in pain, Cassandra, and I don’t want you to be scared.  I promise, as soon as she’s fully awake and ready for visitors, you’ll be the first one, okay?”

 “Promise?”

 Janet swallowed the lump in her throat and kissed Cassie’s forehead.

 “Cross my heart.”

 Daniel placed a gentle hand on Cassie’s neck and she twisted in Janet’s arms and moved to his strong grasp without ever touching the floor, burying her head in his shoulder.  He ran a soothing hand over her hair and nodded at Janet before exiting the infirmary.

 Over the next few hours, Warner’s gentle warning rang through Janet’s head as she witnessed Sam crawl slowly back to consciousness.  An occasional word or phrase, nothing coherent, just enough to start Janet’s heart racing.  Gradually the words became brief sentences laced with agonizing bouts of painful thrashing, Sam’s eyes flaring open without actually seeing anything. 

 The process was torture for both Sam and Janet and more than once the doctor found herself sobbing in frustration and sympathy.  There was no way for her to ease Sam’s suffering and she’d never felt more useless. 

 “Sam, can you hear me?  I need you to try and open your eyes,” Dr. Warner said.

 Sam responded, staring up at the ceiling dully and going rigid every time another wave of pain washed over her.  The cords on her neck pulled taut and she pressed her head into the pillow before suddenly jerking forward.  She frantically tried to curl into a tight ball, clenching her hands into fists so tightly that Janet was afraid she’d hurt herself.

 “Stop!” Sam howled, the word stretching out until it ended in a series of painful, pleading groans. 

 “For God’s sake, give her something!” Janet begged.  She immediately took several steps back and put a hand out, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

 “Come here,” Warner said kindly, “Talk to her.”  Janet moved to stand beside the bed, impulsively reaching out and pressing a hand to Sam’s forehead.  She began to stroke back and forth through sweat-soaked tendrils of hair.

 “Look at me, Sam.  Concentrate on the sound of my voice.  Nothing else exists but the sound of my voice and what I’m telling you.  Do you understand?”

 Sam gave a brief, almost unwilling nod.

 “You need to let go, Sam.  Don’t think about anything else but letting go of the pain.  The harder you try to fight, the worse it will get.  Trust me.”

 Sam’s eyes suddenly sought out Janet, pinning her with their depthless cerulean.  

 “That’s right…that’s good, you’re doing fine.  Just let everything else fall away, Sam, it doesn’t matter now, okay?  Nothing matters except moving past the pain.  Can you feel my touch, Sam?”

 Sam blinked once and Janet smiled encouragingly. 

 “You’re going to be okay.  Cass is waiting outside with Daniel.  She’s desperate to see you, Sam.  One look at that beautiful face and you’re going to feel so much better, I swear.”

 “Wanna see Cass,” Sam said hoarsely.

 “You will but first you have some work to do.  No free rides, okay?” Janet teased gently.

 Sam was suddenly wracked with another flare of pain and she reflexively jerked her arm up, flailing and crying out.  Janet grabbed her hand and let her squeeze, tears coming to her eyes as Sam almost crushed her fingers. 

 Sam suddenly relaxed back into the mattress, chest heaving as she tried to catch her breath, mouth moving soundlessly.  She released her grip on Janet’s hand, arm falling limply to her side.  Janet turned to the nurse and quietly asked her for a glass of ice.  The nurse nodded and hurried out of the room only to return a moment later with a plastic cup filled to the brim.  She set it on Sam’s nightstand and Janet thanked her, digging in and scooping out a handful.  She pressed her cool and wet fingers to Sam’s lips, moistening them and then dropping several chips into Sam’s waiting mouth. 

 “More,” Sam husked and Janet obliged.  She brushed her fingertips down Sam’s temple, “How are you feeling?”

 To Janet’s surprise, Sam gave a brief laugh, “Like shit.  Shoulder is killing me…”

 “It was dislocated, Sam,” Janet said, grimacing in sympathy.  Sam looked down and stared at the injured arm that was in a sling and strapped to her chest, flexing her fingers in curiousity.  “What?” Janet asked. 

 “Didn’t even notice,” Sam mumbled, “Felt like phantom pain.  You know, when you lose a limb?  I knew I couldn’t move my arm and I thought…”

 “No, Sam,” Janet said quickly, “Aside from the dislocation and some cuts and bruises, you’re perfectly fine.”

 Sam gave another staccato bark of laughter, “Besides dying and all.”  Janet’s breath caught and she ducked her head briefly while she regained some measure of composure.

 “I think the worst is over,” Warner announced, “But you’ll probably still have some cramps and headaches for the next while.  We’re going to keep you for a couple of days, just to be on the safe side.”  Sam nodded weakly before turning pleading eyes to Janet.

 “Cass?  Please?”

 “Are you sure? You’re still pretty dazed, Sam, and this isn’t over.”

 “I know...need to see her.  And you.  ‘Kay?”

 Janet gave a quick nod and left the infirmary in search of Daniel and Cass.  By the time she had reassured her daughter that Sam was doing better and they’d made their way back, Sam was asleep.  Cass reached over and took Sam’s good hand in hers, staring at the captain with serious eyes. 

 “I’m sorry Cassandra, she was asking for you but she’s so tired,” Janet said, resting her hands on Cass’ slim shoulders.

 “That’s okay…she knows I’m here,” Cass said quietly.  She leaned and pressed a kiss to Sam’s forehead, speaking softly, “Sleep well, Sam, and I’ll come and see you tomorrow.”

 Janet swallowed hard and let Cass turn and envelope her in a lingering hug.

 “Ready to go home?”

 “Can you leave?” Cass asked cautiously.

 “Cleared and ready, I just have to slip into something a little less revealing,” Janet joked, tugging at the front of her hospital gown.  Ten minutes later they were waving goodbye to her staff and heading for the parking lot; three hours after that, Janet had tucked Cassandra in for the night and left instructions with Mrs. Maguire to phone her at the base if she was needed.  

 She drove back to the complex and slipped quietly through the halls, managing to avoid most of the night staff and settling into the chair next to Sam’s bed. 

 ++++++++++

  Fingers caressed her temple, then stroked through her hair.  They began to massage her scalp and she groaned and stretched in pleasure, opening her eyes and staring into Sam’s exhausted face.

 Sam’s face.

 Janet shivered as a rabble of butterflies settled in her stomach.

 “Good morning,” Sam whispered, her voice cracked and broken, “Or afternoon.  I’m not sure what time it is.”

 “I don’t know either.  Everything’s been kind of a blur…”

 Sam nodded gently, eyes clouded over in fatigue.

 “How do you feel?” Janet asked.

 “I’m not sure I do,” Sam said quietly.  She closed her eyes briefly and licked her lips.

 Janet rose and grabbed a cup from the nightstand, moving to the sink to fill it with cold water.  She plopped a straw in before holding it near Sam’s mouth, sliding a hand behind her head to help her.

 “Careful, just a few sips,” she warned.

 Sam grimaced as she tilted her head forward.

 “It takes billions of dollars to keep this facility operational; you think they could afford bendy straws.”

 Janet chuckled softly and placed the glass on the nightstand before hiking herself up onto the edge of Sam’s bed.  They stared at each other for minutes on end, silently communing.  Eventually Janet leaned over and delicately kissed Sam’s forehead.

 “I forgot to tell you…General Hammond sends his regards,” she murmured, her breath fluttering blonde bangs and cooling warm skin.  Sam let her eyes slide closed, enjoying the contact.

 “Wait…was the kiss on the forehead from the general as well?”

 “Oh hush,” Janet said, smiling as she pulled away and stared into blue eyes.  She traced a thumb over Sam’s left eyebrow, absorbed in the action, speaking firmly, “I know you’re confused, Sam, and probably scared.  I know you’re worried about what happened and your recovery…and me.”

 Sam blinked slowly and grimaced, “You have the order backwards but…are you okay?  Because it would be just like you to be hurt and hiding it so that I don’t get worried.”

 Janet paused long enough for Sam’s eyes to narrow.  “I promise on my oath as a doctor, I’m fine, Sam, just fine.  The air wasn’t so good there for awhile but I’m okay…” Janet’s voice drifted to silence as she inwardly winced at her choice of words.

 Sam released a relieved sigh before continuing with her quiet questioning.

 “And how am I doing?”

 “You’re good.  A couple days in the hospital, a week or so at home and you’ll be as right as rain.”

 “What happened?”

 Janet frowned and asked carefully, “What do you remember?”

 Sam squinted as she searched her memory.

 “There was a cave-in…I was trapped and I must’ve hit my head.  I can’t really …I felt warm and peaceful and somewhere in the back of my mind I knew that wasn’t good.  And then I was in excruciating pain, like my blood was on fire.  Or maybe I just dreamed it.  I don’t know,” she said, closing her eyes, suddenly exhausted.

 Janet’s eyes shaded with concern and she leaned forward to rest her fingers against Sam’s neck, checking her pulse.

 “I think someone needs to sleep,” Janet observed.

 “Don’t want to,” Sam protested groggily.  A tender smile swept across Janet’s face at Sam’s child-like expression.  She bent her head and kissed Sam, pressing but not attempting to pursue anything further.

 The kiss was passionate and comforting at the same time, a physical reassurance that they’d come through, mostly none the worse for wear.  Janet broke away and stroked her fingers down the side of Sam’s face.

 “Rest now, okay?”

 Sam rubbed the heel of her hand against her eyes, letting her head sink back into the pillows.

 “Get some rest and Cassandra and I will be back to see you tomorrow…whenever that is.”

 Sam smiled wearily, eyes already drooping as Janet leaned in to deposit another kiss on the tip of the captain’s nose.

 “Sleep well, Sam.  I love you.”

 Janet paused as Sam’s breath evened out almost immediately.  She was almost to the infirmary door when she heard the softly spoken words, “I love you, too.”  She stood stock still for a moment, letting the warmth from those four words wash over her.  The clock in the hospital corridor showed 2300 hours, plenty of time to get home and be back bright and early in the morning.

 ++++++++++

 Wake up.  Feed Cassie and see her to the school bus.  Drive to the base.  Visit Sam.  Head to her office and pretend to work until she thought she’d jump right out of her skin.  Visit Sam again and then spend the rest of her shift trying to think of excuses not to go back to her office.  Finally go home, have supper and get Cassie to bed.  Wake up. 

 Such was the pattern of Janet’s days while Sam was in recovery.  By Friday, the captain was champing at the bit to be released and Warner finally gave the cautious go ahead.

 “However,” Warner pointed his finger at Sam in warning, “If I hear one word that you’re bounding around like some teenager, you’ll be back in here so fast…”

 “Cross my heart,” Sam said indignantly, following up her declaration with a winning smile.  Warner remained unmoved.

 “I’ll keep an eye on her and so will Cass,” Janet offered, earning a frown from Sam.  Warner nodded slowly and scrawled something across the bottom of Sam’s chart.

 “Okay then.  There’ll be a few papers to sign and then you can go.”

 “Thanks.  And Dr. Warner?  Thank you for everything.  I mean that,” Sam said warmly.  He smiled and nodded, shaking her hand.  He capped his pen and with a quick nod to Janet, turned and left.

 Sam took a deep breath and let out a controlled sigh and Janet bit her lip before speaking. 

 “Um…I guess I should’ve asked if you want to stay at my—“

 “Yes, I do,” Sam interrupted before Janet could even finish.  The doctor burst out laughing, then turned and began to gather various magazines that a steady stream of visitors had brought. 

 “We’ll have to get a tray for all these flowers,” Janet commented.

 “Why not just give them to the staff?  They deserve ‘em,” Sam suggested.

 “Good idea and on behalf of my co-workers, I thank you.  Now if one of those co-workers would just hurry up and bring your wheelchair, we can—“

 “No way, uh-uh.  No way am I being wheeled out of here,” Sam protested.

 “Sam?”

 “Forget it, Janet.  I’m completely capable of walking on my own two feet.”

 “Sam?”

 “I know what you’re going to say but malpractice doesn’t apply in this situation.  I could no more sue the USAF than I could tell the world what we’re doing at this facility.”

 “Sam?”

 Sam finally wound down and looked at Janet, “Uh, what?”

 “It would make me very happy if you’d let me fuss over you.  For example, making sure that you don’t strain yourself on the way to my car.  Which I’ll be driving to my house.  Where you will be under my care for the next week.”

 Janet raised an eyebrow as she added, “Under. My. Care.  And all that that implies.”

 Sam swallowed, her mouth suddenly and curiously dry.  She grabbed the call button by her bed and pressed it furiously.

 “Jeez, what the hell could be taking so long?” Sam muttered anxiously under her breath, “I mean, it’s not like there’s an entire ward of patients that need wheelchairs.”

 “Good girl,’ Janet opined, walking past Sam and patting her knee. 

 ++++++++++

 Sam idly pushed her mashed potatoes around on her plate, alternately building a rather intimidating looking moat and destroying it with conscienceless calm.

 “Sam,” Cassie giggled, “Its supper, not playtime.”

 Sam grinned and tried to stifle a yawn, grimacing as pain rumbled through her skull.

 “Did you take your meds?” Janet prompted.  Sam shook her head and reached for the container by her salad plate.  She shook out two white pills and downed them with a swallow from Cass’ milk glass.

 “Time for bed,” Janet said.

 “Janet!” Cassie whined.  Janet held up a hand, immediately silencing the girl.

 “Not you…Sam.”

 The captain promptly protested, “Why does she get to stay up when I have to go to bed?”

 “She has homework and she is not recovering from a near-fatal accident.”

 Sam pouted while Cassie grinned evilly.

 “Come on, flygirl, time to hit the sheets,” Janet coaxed, riffling her fingers through Sam’s bangs.  Eyelids fluttered and another yawn escaped before Sam could stop herself.  Sighing disgustedly she rose to her feet.  Cassie immediately got up and stood beside her, wrapping an arm around her. 

 “I’ll come up in a bit and check on you, okay?” Janet said, purposely giving Sam and Cassie time together and also letting the girl help in Sam’s recovery.  They both nodded as Janet stood and deposited a kiss on the top of Cassie’s head and then another kiss on Sam’s forehead.  She stepped aside as Sam moved, Cassie guiding her and letting Sam rest some of her weight on her young shoulders.  It took them a minute or two to navigate the stairs as they tried to stay side by side until finally Cassie giggled and gave up, walking behind Sam and pushing on her hips.

 Cassie crept back down the stairs no more than ten minutes later, a concerned look on her face.  Janet held open her arms and her daughter eagerly stepped into the hug, revelling in the affection as Janet nuzzled her sweet-smelling hair.

 “What’s the matter, Cassandra?  Something you want to ask me?”

 “Is Sam going to be okay?”

 Janet frowned and looked down as Cassie leaned back and stared in her mother’s eyes.

 “What happened up there?” Janet asked worriedly.

 “Nothing it’s just…Sam’s so tired.  She barely made it into her pyjamas and that was just from walking up six stairs,” Cassie whispered.

 “Oh honey, she’s going to be just fine.  Any time the body gets injured, it takes an enormous amount of energy to heal.  Every little thing that Sam attempts to do right now is going to be an effort.  But you’ll be amazed at how fast she starts getting better, I promise.”

 Cassie was silent for a moment, absorbing the information before she asked quietly, “Janet?”

 “Yes?”

 “Sam almost died didn’t she?”

 Janet hesitated for the briefest second, “Yes, Cassandra, she almost did.”

 “Did you save her?”

 Janet sighed and thought carefully, “Maybe…”

 “When she was hurt, you helped her, right?”

 Janet nodded slowly.